The Rouge and Her Alpha Mate

chapter 22

Deans POV

My heart hurt, it felt like it was being torn from my chest. I could feel my wolves sadness, he was howling in pain. It hurt so fucking bad. I held on Lilah for dear life. I could also feel Lilah's tears in my head. Lilah and were so alike. They both were broken and needed fixing. I was supposed to fix Cas but now he'll be broken forever.

..............time skip by 2 days.....,.,........

I've been depressed ever since cas's death. Lilah has tried to make me eat but, I just can't. The images appear in my head all the fucking time. I can't sleep either, the images of him laying there close to death hurts so damn much. It makes me feel horrible that I couldn't have saved him, I'm the crappiest mate ever. It hurt so much, I knew a way to end the pain but then that would inflict pain on others. The one thing that would make me feel at peace and no more pain is one word,

Suicide.

That is my only option, but I can't do it I need to stay here for Lilah, she really needs me. And also I'm scared to die, I'm scared if where I'll go. I mean what if there is no god, where are gonna go nowhere. I'm scared that I'll never have a chance to see cas, there HAS to be a place somewhere that you go when you die but I'm not sure what it is. I just hope that when I do go I can see cas.

"Dean I brought you food." Said a soft voice from the other side of the door.

"I'm not hungry." I said. Lilah sighed on the other side then the door opened. Standing in the doorway was a very stressed Lilah.

"Please dean, I need you to eat something." She said and she looked so said I had to give in.

"Fine." I said, a small smile found its way on her stressed face. She gave me the plate, it held mashed potatoes, green beans and ribs. My stomach growled so loud I'm pretty sure the whole house could hear it. I dug in to the food scarfing it down, before I knew it the plate was empty. Lilah snickered.

"Dean you're such a pig." She joked I smiled a little smile, "I'm just glad you ate."

"It actually felt good to eat. Now I just wanna sleep." I said she stood and walked to the door.

"Love you good night." She said.

"Goodbye I love you too." I said. This was the last thing I was gonna say to her so I made sure I said I loved her. When she exited my room I stood and went to the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom I punched the mirror making my knuckles bloody. Then I grabbed the sharpest shard and brought it to my wrist. I hestitated then remembered, I wanted to write a note before I left.

I went yo my room and grabbed a note book and pen and started to write.

Dear Lilah

You're the best sister anybody could ask for. I'm so sorry I have to leave like this but I can't stand it any longer. I miss cas so much, please don't grieve over me to long, but still remember me. I love you so much I couldn't have asked for a better sis.

Love you,
Dean.

When I finished writing I sat the note on my desk then I sat on the edge of my bed. I then placed the glass tip to my wrist.

"I love you Lilah goodbye." I said thenndug the tip into my flesh. Before I could do anymore damage, somebody walked through my bedroom door. I looked up and couldn't believe who I saw. I dropped the glass, standing there was,

Cas.

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Sorry it took such along wait, my tablet was being a bitch and decided to break, so I had to wait to get a new one. But I hope you guys loved da chappie. : )

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Bye bye my lovelies.