Hogwarts Harem

The Hanged Man

"Now, class, settle down! Today we're going to be working with tarot cards and astrodice. Four at a table, please."

Jade, Link, and Vic looked at one another before Kit Stone came leaping at their table from across the room. 

"You've got to be kidding me," Link muttered under his breath. 

A small, mousy looking Ravenclaw boy called Daniel who unfortunately hadn't seen Kit barreling his way towards the trio's table seated himself on the empty stool. "Hey guys!" he squeaked in a high-pitched voice. "AHH!"

Daniel was pushed comically out of his seat by Kit, who replaced him and pointed an admonishing finger at him. "Bad Danny!"

"What the hell, Kit?!" Vic shouted, helping Daniel stand up before he scurried away to another table, wincing in fear. Link sat with his mouth hung open with mingled amusement and shock while Jade had a stupid look on her face that would have convinced anyone that Kit had just something impressive instead of incredibly childish and rude.

"Sorry, babe! I just really wanted to work with you today," he said, giving her puppy dog eyes. 

She shook her head in disbelief. "You're unbelievable." 

"Aww, shucks," Kit said, waving a dismissive hand as if he thought that was a compliment. 

Jade giggled stupidly and Link threw Victoire a look that said You've got to be fucking kidding me .

Victoire tried to answer Link with her eyes as Trelawney called for order to be restored. 

"You will work in pairs and then switch partners with someone at the table. Each of you will ask a question in regards to some area of your life and the other person will pick six cards from the deck and read for you. For further clarification on the tarot cards' meanings, you will use the astrodice."

"Astrodice? Sounds kinky," Kit winked. 

"I don't need the cards to tell me that I'm going to bash my head through the fucking wall in five minutes," Link said in a low tone to Victoire, who cast him an apologetic look. But it wasn't her fault Kit found her utterly irresistible; and if she were being honest, he amused her. 

"Don't be like that, Link. Me, Twa, and Lady Jadey here are all friends. We're gonna be friends too, Linky. You'll see."

"Not likely," Link said dryly, pairing with Jade and splitting the tarot deck for her and shuffling the cards.

"Don't be so stinky, Linky," Kit frowned, and Jade cackled as Link looked ready to combust.

Kit took another deck off the table and began doing the same. "So, Twa, what does your romantic future hold?" He asked the cards as he began splitting the deck."

"Er, that's not what I was going to ask about," she said, knowing the mess that her romantic life was.

"Come on, babe. Everyone loves love," he said as if that decided the matter and spread six cards out on the table, flipping them.

"Woah! I'm so good at this. Okay, so here's The Lovers card, which is self-explanatory. There's lots of lurvvv in your future, for suresies. Then there's The Devil card, which represents seduction and temptation. Wow, babe. This is freaky. Then there's The Fool, which is like, my favorite card next to the horny ones behind it."

"I'm sure The Fool really resonates with you," Link directed at Kit, who held his chin up.

"It does, actually. The Fool represents excitement, new beginnings, and joy. Something you could use more of, Stinky Linky."

Jade had to cover her mouth to stifle her laugh while Link merely shook his head. 

"Next, we have The Emperor. He's an authority figure and can represent stability, structure, and leadership. Snoozer. That sounds like a Link-ish card. Next to him is The High Priestess. She's a total babe and represents the divine feminine and reminds you to follow your instincts and look inside yourself for answers. Lastly is The Hanged Man. Oof, babe, it was all going so well until now. It was like an orgy until this guy showed up," Kit tutted, pointing at the last card. "The Hanged Man represents a state of limbo, like you don't know where to turn. You have to let go and just chillax. You have to surrender and just let things happen; trust in the universe to do its thing. So let loose, unclench your butthole. Right, Kinky Linky?"

Link's face was scrunched in disgust at the butthole comment. "I think I liked it better when you called me Stinky, man. And I still want to bash your head into the table for that, mind you."

Kit laughed like Link was joking as if they were best friends. "Astrodice time!" Kit held them under Victoire's mouth, and she rolled her eyes and fought a smile as she blew on them for good luck as if they were gambling. He tossed them over the cards and they landed on the Jupiter symbol, the sign Libra, and the number 7 for the 7th House. "Okay, so Jupiter is the planet of abundance and expansion and Libra is the sign of relationships. Libra also rules the 7th House which is a funny kawinkydink. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you must have multiple love interests and relationships in your future," he waggled his eyebrows knowingly. Kit didn't appear against the idea of her having other love interests whatsoever. Link was suddenly pretending to be very interested in his reading for Jade. 

"So, did that sound accurate?" Kit asked hopefully. 

"A little too accurate," Victoire grumbled. 

"I don't mind a little competition. In fact, I might be open to sharing you," Kit smirked, throwing a taunting glance at Link.

"Excuse me?!" Victoire exhaled. "I'm not the last piece of cake, so don't talk about me like I am. Besides, who said anything about us-"

"I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean to be disrespectful," Kit said in a low voice, his eyes sparkling with apology. 

Victoire softened only a little as he continued. "You aren't a piece of cake. But you do have a rather nice cake I'd like to get my claws into again," he whispered so that only she could hear. She felt herself blush at the memory of his hands gripping her ass as they kissed, and hoped to Helga Hufflepuff that Link wasn't going to have his feelings hurt by Kit's flirtation with her. She remembered The Hanged Man card, and decided she'd take its advice and let go. She'd be following her instincts and allowing herself to act on them. She'd be transparent as to make sure nobody's feelings get hurt, but she couldn't deny the pull she felt to the four different men in her life. She didn't want to deny the instinct to continue getting closer to the each of them, and with The Hanged Man as her permission slip, she was going to let loose. 

But she would absolutely not be unclenching her butthole. No thank you. Putting a butt plug into the suggestion. Ouch.