caffè americano & hazelnut latte ✔ (Book #1 of TSOU Series)

|| 02 ||

There are many things I find amusing, one of them is the extreme emotion of exuberance expressed at going home after a usual day at work. I'll be very honest, I just do not understand how an adult, a fully grown person show such high levels of serotonin at the thought of going home – it is just a place!

"Bir, you're a pessimistic cynic. Simple as that."

My dear friend Aarav remarks during a conversation which has initiated only because I frowned at his uncontrollable enthusiasm over going home that, in reality, made him look silly with a grin of a loafer.

"But it's just a place of sticks and bricks! There is nothing so special about going home that you're grinning like an idiot."

"Bir, are you sure you're a human?"

"Aarav, are you sure you're an adult, more specifically a neurologist who by now should be acting his age...for once? You're in your early thirties for fuck's sake!"

"If that is the argument you're going forward with, then why can't you for once act carefree like a child, Mr Cardiologist?"

I'll be honest, on many days, Aarav's relentless enthusiasm and his overflowing optimism leave me exasperated. I mean we're people in our thirties, who work the whole day (sometimes a day is a little longer than 24 hours) in an overpopulated hospital in two of the busiest and rarely empty departments – neurology and cardiology – where you witness more tears and prayers than the shrieks of joy that to be happy 24/7 in such an environment is almost a syndrome. Although, it could just be 'Aarav Issue' since he has always been like this – happy and buoyant.

For the twenty-something years that I've known Aarav, he has seldom been beaten down to a sullen phase in life. He has been upbeat in nearly every situation that I almost feel there is something highly strange about him. Not that I consider it a bad trait, but I often wonder if all the joy he carries in himself is a coverup to hide a greater misery. I, for one, never tried to conceal my miseries with a smile I know would expose me the moment I try to wear it. Yet, Aarav has always intrigued me with his never-ending source of serotonin that I can't help my doubts.

"You don't have to be suffering to be happy in this life, you can be happy at any point in your life if you just make peace with your circumstances. That is what my mother has taught me, and that is one lesson I will pass on to my children," he answers with the same silly smile plastered on his lips. I think I should just completely abandon my mission to decode the reason for his glee, I'm a cardiologist, not a psychiatrist.

"Are you planning on attending Elena's wedding?" he asks, for a rare minute, all serious and concerned. "Do you think you'll be alright?"

"Do you think I'll be alright?" I counterquestion, staring at the road ahead. My car which was a battlefield of contrary but amusing philosophies has gone silent in a matter of few seconds. I guess that is the thing about people who've known you for almost all your life – they know which nerve hurts the most and which button will create the most uproar.

"If I knew I've been carrying a solid weapon to quieten you up, I would've already employed it in our little war of words."

The atmosphere of the car is quite sombre, it makes me uncomfortable. It's against my pride to admit, but I genuinely prefer a cheerful Aarav over a dismal Aarav. "What? Your cat hasn't died."

"You shouldn't attend the wedding...it's going to reopen your wounds."

"Do you still think I'm in love with her?"

"Maybe...you left Navya—"

"Navya and I did not break up because of my residual feelings for Elena or the guilt over our breakup. How many times do I have to explain that to you, Aarav?" I really cannot understand why do people immediately assume that the reason for a breakup with a new partner is due to residual feelings for a former partner. There could be ninety-nine reasons for a breakup, and residual feelings ain't necessarily one of them. Also, why are all my friends so dimwitted and slow?

"Okay, as you say," he says, using a tone which strongly resonates with the verbal exclamation – 'I'm not wrong, you are, but I've run out of arguments, so I'll just let this slide and end the conversation.' Typical Aarav. When he can't back up his argument, he ends it right away. Coward.

"I'm not a coward, I just know which battles to pick. And I honestly cannot waste my energy on arguing with you when I have preparations to make for my baby sister's arrival. So, please, keep your vapid opinion of me to yourself."

"You sure know how to antagonise someone who's driving you home and expects only a bit humility on your part...but nevermind. I'll overlook your lack of manner because I'm more interested to hear about your baby sister. When is she coming back?" I kind of regret my display of exhilaration at the mention of Aarav's little sister...she's a little special to me. But Aarav is stupid. Period.

"The kind of interest you show in my sister is almost threatening. Be honest, Kabir, you don't plan to become my brother-in-law, do you?" silly grin again appears on Aarav's face. Remind me again why am I friends with him?

"Are you that desperate to marry your sister off, or do you have a death wish?"

"You're really not funny, Bir, why would I marry off my sister to you? Anyway, her flight is the day after Elena's wedding. Be our guest if you skip the wedding."

"I'll see," I say, gesturing him to get out of my car. We've reached his home, Gujral Villa. The place that is almost an oxymoron if you put it next to mine.

"Bir, are you really not interested in Anaisha or do you just pretend?"

"Are you really that smug or do you love foreshadowing?"

"Somewhere in between."

Me, too.

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Republished: July 12th, 2019

Music: 'Lost in My Mind' by The Head and the Heart