Complicated Love

"Like we always do at this time, I ..." the voice of my ringtone grew louder as I left it in my dreams for real life.

I slipped an eye open to see the name of the anonymous caller calling me at 3 o'clock in the morning on Saturday. I noticed the name 'Jordan Woodard <3' printed on my screen and immediately slid the answer bar to the right of the screen.

"Hello?" I managed to mumble out the words from my raspy sleepy voice.

"Hey baby!" I heard his cheery tone from the other side of the line hum. He was obviously wide awake. "What are you doing?"

I took a deep breath and finally answered, "I was sleeping."

I heard a pause in his breathing. Then after about five seconds he said something, "Aww baby I'm sorry. If you want to go back to sleep you can. I just called like five times and-"

I didn't let him finish before I mumbled, "I know."

He stopped and gasped in his playful little way, " I am sorry that I didn't know you knew I called! But anyways I called like five times and I wanted to see if you would answer baby. And you did."

I was falling asleep during his little speech but managed to get out an 'Mhm' at the end.

There was another pause. I heard him withdraw a breath and release that breath within seconds. "Mmm. Baby?" He asked sexy enough to wake me up a little more.

"Yes?" I quietly answered knowing what he was going to say next.

"I love you" he said a little more serious than anything he's said during our short phone call.

His words put a smile in my face as I routinely answered, "I love you too."

I eventually fell asleep from the silence over the phone, which was normal. We usually would Skype all night long and we would both get so tired and never want to hang up, so we just fell asleep on Skype. Except he didn't fall asleep. He was awake. I usually would have sweet dreams with Jordan in them. Both of us happily being together. Except tonight. Tonight my dream was totally opposite of happy and together. In the beginning we were together, but he eventually left me about half way through. Later in the dream I found him sitting behind a car propped up with another girl, their backs against it, sitting on the ground. When I saw them happy together my first thought was to cry, which I did. But I always, told him that I still loved him and wanted him back. He rejected me so I ran away crying. Little did I know I was really crying in my sleep. I woke up in tears and texted Jordan. I always tell him about my dreams, and I needed to tell him about this one. He texted me back soon enough for me to remember all of the details of my dream to tell him. He told me not to worry nor cry because he would never let that happen. I believed him. I fell back asleep and enjoyed the next few hours of sleep I got. When I woke up, I of course checked my notification bar on my phone. 'Jordan Woodard <3 5 text messages'.

Ugh I love him so much. I tap on the notification.

'hey'

'hey'

'Faith?'

'hey'

'baby?'

Each about ten-twenty minutes apart. I feel so loved when I wake up with his texts. I texted him back with they casual, 'Ello love(:'.

I slipped out of bed remembering the plans I had recently made with Jordan for this cool November Saturday. I loved being with him. He made me happy. The happiest I've been in years. He's the only guy I've got to protect me since my brother is no help and never tries to be involved in my life. And ever since my dad has given up on, me, I've needed love. I've craved love to fill the gap in my heart.

I took a look in my spotty mirror and threw my hair, into a messy loose bun. I managed to tiptoe past the dining room, kitchen, and the computer room to my destination, the bathroom. Taking showers was one of the few times I could cry and think to myself without people knowing. I turned the shower on hot and stripped, stepping into the wonderful feeling water. Immediately, I felt relaxed and safe. The dream kept replaying through my head. A tear steamed down my face blending with the hot water already showing over me. When I got out, I checked my phone. I slid the notification bar down to see '2 texts'. A smile peered on my face feeling loved because I had a text from more than just one person. I willingly tapped the notification to see who had texted me. Twitter. Virgin Mobile. Nobody important. Just a notification from my phone company saying my bill was due soon. And Liam Payne tweeted something. I called Jordan to see what was up. It was nearing eleven in the morning and I needed to know what was going on with our plans. No answer, it went straight to voice mail.

"His phone must be dead" I told myself hoping to God it was true and he just wasn't ignoring me. I felt like that quite often when he didn't text me, lonely, annoying. About forty minutes passed and was sitting on my bed eating ice cream, as usual, and my phone vibrated. I jumped up from my sweety snack and grabbed my phone off my dresser to see who it was.

I checked my messages and opened my conversation with Jordan.

Jordan Woodard <3: hey baby. I'm sorry I was at karate.