Why...

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Why....? Why did he have to love me? Why did he have to leave me and take my heart with him? Why must he be so kind and sweet just enough for me to fall for him again? Why did he lose feelings? Why did us breaking up hurt me so much? Why am is he my soulmate but I'm not his? WHY DOES LOVE HAVE TO HURT SO BADLY THAT IT MAKES ME CRY FOR HOURS?!!??
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I sadly don't know the answer to any of those and I don't think I will ever know the answer to any of those questions, love is truly a beautiful thing it makes humans so happy when they fine their soulmate you can find a soulmate at so young and that was my mistake....I found my soulmate at a young age and fell in love with them hell I even dated them for 4 months until......the ugly part of love showed it's self the horrible, heart shattering, disgusting side of love that shatters peoples hearts until they can't take the pain anymore and end up killing them self's or getting into bad habits to help cope in a unhealthy way with the pain that comes with heart break. Love has two sides.....one side is amazing you feel like no one can stop you from doing anything you feel like you are at the top of the world you feel so powerful and when you simply just hear or look at the person you love you instantly start smiling and blushing, I truly believe if you find the right one they will stay in your life with you forever. That's the amazing heart warming side of love but no one ever talks about the dark heart wrenching side of love. You know that feeling when see something scary so you start to freak out your throat feels like it's closing up and you are just frozen right where you are? That's what the horrible side of love feels like, You get your heart broken and you can't stop the ocean of tears from coming down your face your breathing becomes uneven your stomach starts to tie into knots and you feel like your throat is closing up, you just sit there and the thoughts start flowing in all at once like a stampede of angry bulls coming at you at 1,000 miles per hour there is no chance at stopping them they come at you until it kills you inside so you try to find ways to to cope so you can hopefully get back the same feeling you had when you had the amazing beautiful side of love the feeling that you are on top of the world and in my case I chose to self harm and smoke weed to help cope with the stampede of angry bulls.......

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 17, 2021 ⏰

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