Im here now in my room. Hindi ako umuwi ng Cavite. Ayaw kong makita ako ng mga anak ko sa ganitong kalagayan. I want to shout. Ang Kapal ng mukha niya kunwari pa siya na equal custody pero halos lahat ng desisyon para sa mga bata gusto niya siya ang masusunod. While i was thinking of things about my kids my phone rang the girls wanted a video call. I answered it but I let my camera off.
"Kyrene open your camera" it was Pink and Mandy.
"My God who made you cry? What happened?", Mandy Ask. When they saw me with fluppy eyes.
"It's about the kids. " Marj told them. Then Marj told them what me and Damien talked about . I don't know why Marj knows about it. Then later on she said that Damien called Phoenix and told him about it. They comfort me. Pink even told me that she will talk to his cousin. But i stopped her. I told them that it's Damien rights. I even told them that im thankful na hindi ilalayo sa akin ang kambal. And right now kahit alam ko na darating ang time na eto parang hindi pa rin ako handa sa bilis ng mga pangyayari. Na in just one snap maaring mawala sa akin ang kambal.
Two days after, Damien called me again. He said that we need to talked about the kids.
I have no choice, so i went and meet him. We are here at the cafe owned by Lindsay. Damien, me and his attorney are here even Lindsay and Phoenix are here with us. His attorney discussed to me things that Damien wants regarding about the kids. They even ask me if there are things in the document that I wanted to change.
"No, it's okay. If that's what he wanted be it. Kaya ko mag adjust sa mga changes huwag lang mawala ang mga anak ko sa akin." I told the directly
"Look Kyrene don't talk as if your being oppressed here. That's why my attorney is asking you. " he said to me
"Im sorry if you mis understood me. What im trying to say is that it's your right as their father. Like what is written here that you're only doing it because i hid the twins from you. So your intention on doing this is clear to me. What can I do. If I go against what you want, will anything change? Nothing, isn't it. Because what did you say the last time we talked. You want a full custody. Now, if I want to change something here, will anything change? You might even do what you wanted to keep them away from me. So i better agree with your terms. I only said to put it in a black and white and be documented para may panghawakan ako na whatever happens hindi mo kukuhanin at ilalayo ang mga bata sa akin" then i signed it. Lindsay is comforting me. I don't want to cry but i can't help it so before i burst out nagpaalam na ko sa kanila.
I still have a meeting at two pero di ko kayang humarap sa client in this condition so i ask Tim and Lea to go there even without me. I went to the mall. Nag ikot ikot ako hanggang mapagod. Nang umokey na ako. I went home. Umuwi ako ng Cavite para makita ang mga anak ko.
Kinabukasan nag file ako ng leave. Pina absent ko ang kambal. I want to be with them for the whole day. Bukas susunduin sila ng daddy nila at ibabalik sila ng Sunday ng gabi.
I already told mama about the agreement. They asked me if im okay with it. I told them it's ok.
It's ok.... and i need to be okay.....
So that day, we stayed at home. We bake their favorite brownies. We watch movies and played. On that night, my sister Krizza called me. She ask me about the twins. Mama told her about what happened to me. She ask me if i want to go there for a vacation. I declined it. Pag umalis ako, paano ang kambal baka pagbalik ko wala na kong anak. Yun ang kinakatakot ko.
Months passed, kahit gabing gabi na pinipilit kong umuwi ng Cavite para makasama ang mga bata. Ako na muna ulit ang gumagamit ng kotse. Ipinagamit sa akin ni mama para daw hindi ako mahirapan. Kapag friday late na akong umuuwi kahit wala na kong gagawin pa sa office . Tinatawagan ako ni kyla if nasundo na ang mga anak ko. Iniiwasan ko na magkita pa kame ni Damien. Hindi pa ako handa. Kahit sa mga lunchdate nila hindi ako pumupunta. Kinukuwento lang ni Kyla sa akin ang mga kaganapan. I already talked to the girls why i am distancing to them again. They understand me naman. Kaya pag gusto ko silang makita nag kikita na lang kame sa mall or pumupunta sila sa office. Malimit si Mandy sa office o kaya si Pink. Yun dalawa talaga ang malimit kong makita parang walang mga trabaho.
