Dear Louis

Letter 26

Dear Louis,

I've been in my room crying and thinking of how much you hate me. It hurts to know that the one I love hates me. I'm tired of feeling this way Lou. I need you to rescue me. Save me from myself. I'm a monster and i can't control myself. I'm afraid I might kill myself. That's all I ever wanted. I hate myself everyday because nobody loves me. I don't have the courage anymore to live. I just want this pain to end. Louis, I love you with all my heart. More than words can explain. Its crazy how a guy can fall for someone who doesn't love them back. I love you so much. There's no one who can change that. Oh, Lou. My heart is aching for you. My hand are numbed and they want yours. My body is aching for your touch. My eyes are tired from crying. I told myself that I would never cry over a boy but I guess, I failed. Because trust me, some of tears are from you. I was on twitter and they kept telling me to die. Just wait, it'll happen. I promise. Eleanor hasn't contacted me for like 3 days and I'm getting worried. You probably forbid her to stop talking to me. I understand. I'm sorry for being ugly. Please, I just need you. I love you so much. Louis, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't want to love you but you know you don't choose who you fall in love with. Your laugh is my favorite noise, I adore you. Have anyone ever told you, that your eyes are blue like the sea? Because they are magically beautiful. I don't sleep anymore because every time I try, I can't stop thinking of you. I'm really tired. That's why I have bags under my eyes and I look tired. I lost a lot of weight because I don't eat anymore, but I'm still fat. I hate my body. Nobody has noticed I got skinner. My head is spinning and my stomach is aching for food, but I just can't. I'll become fat. What's the whole point of eating if I'll just throw it up again? The doctors are saying that I need to eat, so I could be healthy again but I just can't.
'Don't let me go, cause I'm tired of feeling alone'
Please, help me. I don't want to feel hurt anymore. I don't want to feel alone anymore. I don't want to feel unloved or unwanted anymore. I want to eat, but I'll just gain more pound and I'll be fatter than I am already. Mum hasn't called me in along time, she doesn't care. I heard she called the rest of the boys to see how they were doing.
'Don't let me go, cause I'm tired of sleeping alone'
Please, come back. I miss you in our bed. I just want you back Louis. I'm tired of being alone. Nobody wants to talk to me. Liam has kept his distance from us. Niall is still his cheerful, snowflake of a leprechaun that's a crazy mofo. He still talks to me and he has noticed my scars. The other day he came over and attacked me, he by accidentally hurt me by touching my fresh scars, and he looked at me confused before pulling up my sleeve. A tear fell on my scar and he hugged and began crying. I'm sorry for making our hyper snowflake cry. He loves me, at least that's what he kept saying. I don't believe him. I love him so much. He's like a little brother. He's just so cute. Zayn hasn't contacted me in so long either. He's always with Perrie. I don't blame him, they barely see each other. I just can't deal with this anymore. Oh, look another twitter notification. I'm so famous. This one says, " Your so fucking annoying. Die. I hate you with a passion. One Direction would be much better if you left. Nobody like a fat whale like you. Worthless."
I can't.. This is to much for me to handle. I just want this to end Lou. In so sick and tired of it. I love you so much. You don't know how much you mean the world to me. Nobody does except God. Your just so amazing and incredible that I fall for you every second of the day. Louis, boo bear, my little carrot. I love you so much. Your my king and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me loving you. It hurts so much. Please save me Louis. Please. Please. Please, I'm begging you. Your so amazing. I love you. I'm in love with you. Save me please Louis. Forgive me.
I love you.
Love, Harry X

Aʊtɦօʀ Nօtɛ: Tɦaռҡ ʏօʊ sօ ʍʊċɦ ɢʊʏs. I ʀɛaʟʟʏ ċʀɨɛɖ աɦɨʟɛ tʏքɨռɢ tɦɨs ċɦaքtɛʀ. I աas ʟɨstɛռɨռɢ tօ saɖ sօռɢs tɦat ʀɛʟatɛ tօ tɦɛʍ. I ʟօʋɛ ʏօʊ ɮɛastɨɛs.
Lօʋɛ Jօɛʏ X

Number Of Words: 839