UNTOLD, OF THE UNSPOKEN

What's Left Of Me

In its depths, i sufficed
I cant help to ponder, what there will be right after me, preparing my flight, to leave a life behind. Means to start a new and a bare one. The idea of it frightens me, maybe it means, I still can't let go of the thought one day I'd soon be let go of, I yell aloud of hurting, and I can no longer keep on going, but why do I still long to stay here. To stay here and still hurt people. As I lay there as it slowly denses itself unto me. I can't help but feel it's weight throughout my mind and body, The idea that I was there, and having to endure the thoughts that entails me even when I already left
How do I continue when I am still stuck in your trails.
Believe me I have gone and said farewell but I still can't help but tell, that I long for my once despised hell. Have I refrain to the idea you'd long my name
Every night I see myself to be blamed But I guess, when you at the bare minimum still, find fulfilment in my  deceitful grin. til the insoles of my nails deepen to the very brim

The thoughts that enters me seems to not like to stay behind, the satisfaction seeing fall beneath the grinds, really deepens a sight of a blind. It feels like a part of me was taken away,

All over I am here as if it is the start I once paced through before, with now knowing I am facing what was then, how come does it feel better or is it just me starting over, again.
No It doesn't mean I am moving mountains, nor soaring boulders of stars, it means I have people I hurt, I have people that is still hurting, for my cause, for me to delusively believe to begin once more, leave everyone to be forsaken
Would it seem pointless having to think of ourselves highly as we do, in that we believe we are constantly in the right, yet recently I have not been, as I liked to think I was, not only I hurted people, I escaped from my responsibilities, disregarding those people and neglecting what they've went through, at what cost am I willing to fulfill my self-induced happiness, at what cost are you willing to gamble, I walked unknowingly of their love that is still for me, knowing I've hurt them but still chose to leave.
I am now known however, that I am willing to see the life I always in denial of, no matter how much I oppse it will forever stay to be as the world we seek, should be. And that It is as is as it must.