UNTOLD, OF THE UNSPOKEN

PAVING

i hate everything about how looks could be definition of love i feel envious becasue of how lacking Im being treated in fact im not even envious its the thought of not being seen as equal as someone thats like me and thats so hurtful,
I can't even fathon how im able to get through this i burst out crying wanting to rebel against everyone.

Recently im accustomed to things that i now have changed which led me into a lot of misconceptions whether it be my self in situations whereas i find myself longing for more than i thought i already have. Basically ive let go of things that have made me stuck in the past, tho it is difficult for me to adapt to change, however i am still able to manage to come througb in the end, its been such a wild ride. The people ive met had been nothing but helpful for my journey i hope that they soon find their best self. And ofcourse their significant other, which i now have realized i wouldnt be that person. How vastly ive placed myself into situations i soon figured arent for me that had an impact on people i never wanted to implicate it, saddens me how i myself dont want to be part of the system that i want to change it is deathtormentimg how I've become this way i aspire to be different . I want to be different i want to improve more than i have before. It is as if, tho easy as it sounds but no i have to have boundaries now. And through this circumstance ive acknowldge my way that i dont need sexual relationship anymore because im contented to have someone by myseide and if they dont want that in the beginning then i wouldnt be forcing myself to them since i know it wouldn't be good in the long run. I know it is hard not only for myself but ofcourse fhem. And as much as possible instead of trying to make it work. I wouldnt just do it in the first place. I dont want to hurt people, i dont want to hurt myself
I dont want to cause unintended feelings to them since ik how that feels so let them be known so it wont be unknown.