La vie inintéressante d'une ptite fangirl

no

«what... i love you»
«no you don't. i'm sorry, what you feel is not love. it's some kind of weird dependence thing where you love the attention i give you, but you don't love me.
because if you actually loved me, you'd watch my instagram stories. if you actually loved me, you'd listen to my voice messages and you'd actually love them. if you loved me you'd appreciate leaving your comfort zone with me, and you wouldn't treat me like absolute shit every time you did so. you wouldn't ask me to shut up every time i open my mouth because you'd know that's the thing i hate most.
but you know the worst part about all this ? i love you. i do. i listen to what you tell me. i remember the little things. i laugh at your dumb jokes even when they're not funny or highly problematic. i don't tell you to stop when you're embarrassing me in public places. i try my best not to upset you even if it bothers me. i always do that, i put your well being before mine, i mean, i just love you. i do. unconditionally. i mean i spend days on your birthday gift and you just get me another snorlax, which, by the way, is also about you because i wouldn't even know snorlax if it weren't for you. i write some dumb things on instagram so that everyone can know how much i care about you and all i get is a text that says good evening. i'll bet you couldn't tell what is my least favorite food right now. if i asked you my favorite movie right now, could you tell it ? i know Truman Show is one of yours. i also know you hate cake and you wouldn't eat salad even if someone paid you. because that is how much i care. i love you so much everyone in my life knows about you. because i'm always talking about you. i'll say "my best friend has read that" or "my best friend has the same stuffed animal" or even "oh my god we did that with my best friend once" but i'll bet you never talk about me. because i'm not your number one friend, i know who it is and i've made my peace with that. but realizing that you didn't love me recently has been really hard. i mean even when projecting myself in the future  i've thought about you. about what a future partner might think of our relationship. about how i can't wait for my kids to call you uncle and have the best godfather ever. we've never talked about this stuff before because we never talk about anything real and it's starting to affect us. i mean you can't even love me. i'm not even apologizing this time. i'll just say it again : i love you. and i'm not stopping. not now. not ever. so what do you say. will you love me ?»