La vie inintéressante d'une ptite fangirl

need to talk

you know how in fiction, characters always have that other character who knows instantly when something is up with them. when they're suffering, no matter how hard they try to hide and swallow it, their best friend/ boyfriend/ girlfriend/ parent know deep down how they're feeling. without even talking, dude's like "what's up and don't you dare say nothing, cause i know you so talk to me". you know what, it's probably not just fiction, you probably have that person in your life, and if you do, i'm so happy for you, and i'm so glad you have someone to reach out when you are at your lowest. but the truth is, i don't. i've learnt to swallow all my negative feelings for ling now, no one really how badly i'm suffering when i am. i don't why, probably not to bring other people down by being sad... it's silly i know, it's just how i am. but today it needs to get out. i am not okay. this situation is becoming way too heavy for me, the only thing that brings me joy now is this. watching shows or movies and pretending i'm one of the characters. it doesn't seem healthy that when i am happy, it's only because i am not myself, does it ? i don't even know why i wrote this, probably because i needed it. it needs to get out. i am not okay and i am not afraid to make you feel bad by saying it. it's not anyone's fault. but no, i am not fine. and yeah, i wish you could know by only looking at me. just like stiles stilinski. i really wish i had a stiles stilinski in my life. or maybe still.