Cards

Jayson Love part 3

It's another mission of Parotitic front. We have to stop what The American did in his blunder of trying to kill a Mongolian Card user. Roach has been sent in this time American said that the dud card users overwhelmed him. Typical. He has my technology but not my brains. "Okay Roach tell me what you see." Roach is walking around into the town where American was. 

Immediately roach is being shot at. Roach winces in pain. "Ouch. Why did these guys have to shoot at me?" "Don't they know I'm invulnerable? Roach continues to walk to the card user. "Jayson It's more than one guy." "That bomb one and a different one who I think is being air lifted." I look up and see a huge crate fall and break the ground it is surrounding. Roach looks puzzled. "Why would they kill that guy like that?" A white dude comes out of the cage unscathed. JACKIE EARNIE IS A GO! he is holding a tiny ladder a bottle of alcohol and some paper. 

Jackie Earnie starts running towards Roach. Roach asks over the intercom. "Jayson who is this guy?" I being to scour and look but see no results. " It's a new one." Jackie Earnie throws some dice at roach. 307633552626151! the result is 2. Jackie Earnie snaps his fingers. Awwww. Roach cannot believe this is happening. "Does this guy have powers?" Jackie Earnie overhears him. "You don't anymore." Roach starts turning back into a regular human. "AGHHHH." I double check my screen. what in the fuck?" Roach smiles. "I'm back. Thank you Jackie Earnie!" Jackie Earnie then shoots roach in the forehead. "Laady Laddy eat a Ladder French FREI FR FRI F- G G G G G G G GGG GGGG GGGGGG EGEGEGGEGEJEHEHLE. He starts spazzing out on the floor.

The boss is already calling me but honestly what do I even say to that. "What just happened? Roach is dead? Who killed him?" I respond only with "This guy named Jackie Earnie. I think he's a mental patient with some sort of reality manipulation powers. I don't even understand how he changed Roach back into a human. The downside had to be something insane. Only a few can really warp and bend reality like that. Maybe his insanity is his weakness?"

The boss is shown a feed of what happened. I send in a robot since it's obviously too dangerous to send in another person. The robot lands and sneaks behind Jackie Earnie. Elliot! GO! The camera goes black. "Jayson what just happened?" The boss asks. "I don't know my camera just went dead. I send in another to see Jackie Earnie just standing there in a crater of some kind. I fly the drone down to him. "Jackie Earnie what did you do?" 

Jackie Earnie gets down onto his knees. "Elliot attacked you at the speed of light because his power is he can go down a ladder at light spped but for every nanometer his speed doubles. Don't worry Roach will be back soon. Al co Hol revive Roach! Jackie Earnie says to his Alcohol bottle. somehow dice just appear. The dice lands on a 1. For some reason Roach is revived. Jackie Earnie talks afterwards "And he is part pickle!" 

Roach is turned into half a pickle. his body deformed and grotesque. Roach screams at him "Why don't you just go away?" Jackie Earnie says confidently " I'll jump into space WHOOPIE!" He jumps on roach and obliterates him again. He jumps into space and disappears. I call my Chinese contact. He picks up. I ask him nonchalantly. "Hello is there a guy who carried a ladder an alcohol bottle and a piece of paper?" He just says yes but that guy was an x teir person left in a prison and on drugs for a reason.

Jackie Earnie Is behind me "TAHITI TIME!" He Grabs the paper and starts shoving it in my face. "Try and give Peter Papernotcut a paper cut. I bet you can't! I bet you can't! I try and go along with it. I grab another piece of paper. I go and start scratching it. Jackie Earnie starts foaming at the mouth. "DEVIL!" Suddenly a guy in a pink loincloth appears. "What now Jackie Earnie?" Is this guy the devil? Why would he be dressed so stupidly? 

"Get cheese stapler here to attack this rock I found." "Tell him I'm asking for Cheese Stapler he'll know what it means. "Tell him its about yay high yay tall yay in tensile strength yay in taste yay in color yay in ability to turn muscles into brussels. The "Devil" looks pissed. "No." the devil says. Jackie Earnie places his "Friends" down on the floor. "You mess with the bull you get the angry bull." Jackie Earnie says weirdly and so confidently I actually can't help but admire it.