Random Ass stories.

To be free

The boy sat on the bathroom floor, bottle in hand. He wondered how many it would take to make him free. How many of the little white stones it would take, to sleep forever. But he had people to stay awake for. It hurt to be awake. The mental health days were turning into wanting to sleep forever days. He had no one to help him at 2 in the morning. The stuffed toy he had helped a little, but it wasn't like the warmth of another. He didn't remember the last time he had a hug from his mother, but he knew he wasn't important enough to have a hug. He was the oldest, the burnout, the one that wasn't going to college, the one that wouldn't Pass High School, the one who was left out. Would anyone want him to be awake? His partners maybe...possibly his friends..his siblings didn't need him, they had thier mother. His grandparents didn't even call him a boy...he wanted to cry, but their were other things to cry about later. His Brithday party was soon, he could cry then. When no one was there to see. No one would come, they never do. He looked at the bottle, should he? Sleep would be nice...it sounded so nice.. His vision blurred again. Shit. The hallucinations were back. Why was he not on medication for this again? Right, because he was not important enough to see. Their are others who need it more. Maybe he should call? No, it would just bother someone. No one wants to hear his trama, no one wants to here about the people in his head. No one wants to see the scars that look like stretch marks. He was going to be so tired tomorrow. But today is tomorrow. It's 2:49 in the morning, the party is today. He should sleep..was being awake worth it? It would be a dreamless sleep. There I nothing after. He knew that. Their was no God. If there was, why had they not answered? All the times to make them stop, to make the pain stop, to make he hole, to fix me, to kill him. He could take that into his own hand, hands that where not his. They were far to skinny, but that's what he got for not eating. His body was far to skinny, it made the lumps on his chest far to visible. His mom didn't even notice he was still awake, she was to worried about the crying child in her arms. Four minutes until 3:00. Maybe the dark would take him. But he hoped they didn't, he was scared of the dark. There was too many things that could be hiding there, his dad, the old man, her, them. They all had hurt him so much and they had never said sorry. Well..his dad had..but he kept doing the same things over and over again so he didn't mean it. He wondered how his other siblings were, the ones his dad had changed for. He looked at the bottle again, he opened it. And poured the white rocks. The half bottle will be enough right? 5 mg each? There was at least 20 of them, If not more. He thought it though, when was the last time he had tryed to do this? He remembered the first was at 8. The last was maybe 1-2 years ago. He wanted to sleep..so bad..He put the pills back in the bottle, he couldn't. His siblings would be the first to find him, he knows that. His mom would send them first. He got up from the floor. And walked away from the bathroom and walked to the kitchen. He put back the melatonin. And walked to the living room and layed on his bed. He looked over at the sleeping figures of his mom and brothers. He wondered if he had made the right decision. He had layed thier for hours before thinking of attempting. It was 3:12 now. He wanted to be free, but he couldn't. He had to stay for them, no matter how much he didn't want to. It's not like he could be happy, it's not like he could be free. It's not like he had a choice, but wished...oh how he wished..