Dreamy Red

Episode 24 - Return of the Lost

I felt a heavy force on my chest. I could feel my heart pumping and myself breathing. Water gushed out of my mouth. I was breathing. I opened my eyes. There was daylight and I was lying right below a mango tree instead of in a dark cave. There was no Moksha or Nirvana there. It looked like I was saved. I looked around to see where I was and realised that I was in the mango grove at Nishanthi villa. Dad was kneeling right beside me with worry all over his face. At a distance, I could see Shamesh Chachu standing with his hands folded and looking happily at me. I had forgotten that they were coming to meet me. Near him stood my only sister, Vichitra, with resentment in her eyes. I had mixed feelings looking at her. Although I had abandoned her after a horrible incident in my life thinking she was responsible for my grief, I was glad to see her. I even felt guilty about leaving her alone during a very difficult time. Though dad had convinced me to forgive her, a small part of me didn't even want to look at her.

A very big shock was standing further away from Vichu. I closed my eyes thinking that I was imagining things. I took a deep breath, opened my eyes and again looked in that direction. Yes, he was standing right there. I rubbed my eyes and looked again to confirm. Yes, he was still standing there looking straight at me. He had a plain expression, no happiness, no excitement, nothing. Vikranth Chatterjee, the love of my life who was dead two-three years ago was standing there looking at me with no emotion in his eyes. It was even more shocking than seeing him alive. Perhaps he had forgotten me.

And in his arms was a much bigger shock. He held a two-year-old child looking just like him. Same sparkling magical black eyes, same pointy nose and rosy lips. The boy was also looking at me, but his face was happy and excited and his hair was curly like that of Vichu and had the same shade of brown as hers. Immediately, I looked at Vichu and found what I was anticipating. On her neck was a golden mangalsutra with black beads. She was married and I didn't know. Then it struck my mind why they didn't inform me. I closed my eyes and prayed to die immediately.

Dad spoke interrupting my prayers, "Bibbi, I'm glad that you are okay." I hadn't opened my eyes nor did I get up. I didn't want to reply or talk to anyone. I felt my dad's hands holding mine. "Get up, my dear. There is a lot you need to know", said dad calmly. I wanted to shout at him that I didn't want to listen to anything. But I kept quiet and stayed still. Tears rolled down my eyes. "Get up, Bubbu. Chachu's here", said chachu excitedly. He was the only person in the whole world who called me that.

I felt like I would split into two. A part of me wanted to hug chachu and tell him how much I missed him. But another part wanted to scream at him for not telling me anything though I was the one who blocked him from contacting me. I just wanted to die and go back to Moksha and Nirvana. Suddenly even Nirvana felt like a better person. How could my love betray me? More tears rolled my eyes. I couldn't even wipe it. I was weak.

I didn't want to think more about it. "Die, die", I spoke out aloud. "Hush, my dear. What are you blabbering?", asked dad with shock and he kept his fingers on my mouth. He held me by his hands, and another hand, which must have been chachu's, held my head and they both made me sit up. But I put all my weight on them. I didn't really wanna get up. They just didn't understand. There are things one can digest and there are things one cannot digest no matter what. I'd rather die.

"What's wrong with you?", the magical voice spoke. One minute, happiness burst in me. I opened my eyes and stared at a mango tree opposite me. Tears were still rolling down my eyes and onto my shirt. The next minute I felt my heart heavy. My love had spoken to me after three years, but all he could manage was what was wrong with me! I didn't want to talk back. He had betrayed me. He was alive all those years. No one tried to tell me that. He could have come in person and told me. But no, he didn't. There had to be only one explanation for maintaining it a secret. He married Vichu for his awful mistake and the result was the baby boy in his hands who looked exactly like him and whose age matched the time duration from when the gruesome incident happened.

Dad and chachu still held me up. I pushed them away and sat upright on my own. I shook my head and thought about it for a minute. I had made my decision. I turned and looked at Viku and Vichu and the little boy. I gave them a subdued sly smile, stood up, rubbed the dirt off my clothes and looked at chachu. I gave him a tight hug. "What about me?", dad interrupted. So with the other hand, I pulled him into the embrace too.

Chachu was so happy that he stroked my hair with love. "I'm so glad you changed your mind. You have a lot of surprises starting from this", he said pointing at Viku. He sounded happy but neither I nor Viku was happy. How could he think that I would be happy looking at my love married to another woman that too my very own sister? And most of all, Viku seemed unhappy to have met me. I scowled at Chachu. Then I pushed him and dad aside. I walked over to my backpack and sling bag which were lying a little further away, picked them up, strapped them onto my shoulders and walked away towards the main gate without looking back.

"Wait", shouted dad. "Where are you going?", he asked. I wanted to say that I was going to go die, but instead, I kept mum. I didn't even feel the need to talk to people who didn't care about me. Suddenly even my dad seemed cruel.

Then I stopped walking, turned around, gave dad a quick fake smile and asked him gently, "Where is Twinkle and who saved me?" "Twinkle is fine. She is sleeping inside the house. She must be tired from running all along. Thanks to her, we found you in time", said chachu. "And I saved you", said Viku coldly. It was as if I didn't know him anymore. He was so much different. He had a beard and all. But the worst was that he had an expressionless face as opposed to the cheerful face that he had had. I wanted to shout, go die for betraying me, but instead, I said "Thanksss" as coldly as I could and turned around. More tears rolled down. I was cheated. And he didn't even feel bad about it. Why didn't I see his cold nature when I loved him?! His mom and dad, Vidhwaan mamu and Kousalya mami were the sweetest people in the world. How could they have given birth to such a hypocrite?

Vichu was silent all along. Surprisingly, the child was too. He was observing the happenings keenly. I didn't even feel like smiling or blessing the little boy. I turned away and sprinted towards the main gate weeping silently. Dad and chachu ran behind me shouting, "Stop, stop." I turned as I was running and saw that Viku didn't even mind me getting away. It angered me even more. I sped up.

Dad and chachu couldn't keep up with my pace. I was terribly angry and terribly depressed. I just wanted to be alone. I ran as fast as I could. I opened the gates so harshly that they hit the bricks lining up the pavement with a thud. I didn't mind and rushed straight to my Vespa parked right near the gates. The keys were actually on it, so it was very much easier to start it. And then I strode off towards the highway in the direction of the ghats without looking back.