Dreamy Red

Episode 28 - An Epitome of Glory

The auditorium was a big hall with a balcony like a cinema theatre. The seats were made of red cushions. Almost all seats were full. But there were many empty seats here and there for latecomers like us. There were a lot of people, almost more than 500. And most of them wore plain white frilled kurtas and light blue-coloured pyjamas. The kurtas were exactly the same as the one Joseph wore on the day he died. Before I could think more, Rahul dragged me to a pair of empty seats near the exit doorway and we sat down silently.

The big figure of the Babaji was standing on the dais holding a microphone. He was very tall and fat and definitely very old. He must have been more than 50 years old and would have weighed more than 300 pounds by the looks of him. Anyone would bow down to him automatically, such was his charm. He had a warm smile on his face and a glow like a god. I could even picture a bright sun shining behind him. He looked much much more godly than Rahul. He looked powerful. To match his godliness, he wore a rich-looking red kurta with golden lines, a golden pyjama and a skin-coloured woollen shawl draped around his shoulders. He had a pure white beard and on his head, he wore a red and gold studded headdress.

"Take out the darkness within you and throw it out...", he said loud and clear in a very manly yet elderly voice. The sound echoed in the hall as there was pin-drop silence. All others had their eyes closed. I noticed that even Rahul's eyes were closed. So I closed my eyes too.

"Imagine yourself carrying a gunny bag. Put all your burden in it. Your loved ones, your friends, your associates, all the people you have met. All of them mean nothing to you. Put them all in the gunny bag. Isn't it heavy!?" His words were so influential. I immediately realised that I was imagining myself carrying a large gunny bag with miniatures of Viku, Vichu, Mamu, dad, Joseph, Nishanthi, Armaan, Arpitha, Karan, Karthik and many others. It was very very heavy. I was crouching down unable to withstand the weight. I was sweating profusely.

"Now, throw it. You are your own master like Buddha said. So think only about yourself. You will be stress-free and happy. You will feel light. Concentrate and throw all the people in your life out of your mind, now", he said and gave a long pause.

In my imagination, I tried hard to throw the gunny bag down. I wasn't able to. The weight was too much for me to even lower it. I tried even harder. Then I let my hands slip and the gunny bag fell down. My aching back got relieved. I slowly was able to stand straight. I felt immense happiness with no worries. Thanks to Rahul, I was able to free myself of all the dreadful thoughts in my mind. I felt light as a feather. I felt lifted away. I had been in the forest to do that, but I wasn't able to.

In the white background in my imagination, another white figure appeared in front of me. It was Moksha. She was smiling at me with her ugly horse mouth. She was mouthing something continuously as though she was warning me about something bad. I couldn't hear anything or understand whatever she was trying to express. From behind her, Nirvana was sneering. I concentrated hard on her. But instead of getting a clearer view, she was gone from sight.

I opened my eyes. The Babaji was not on the stage. People had started to disperse. I hadn't realised that I was in a haze for such a long time. I turned to look at Rahul who was staring at me like I was some relic. "How long was I like that?", I asked him eagerly. "About 10 mins after the show", he answered. "Do you feel any change at all?", he asked with concern. "Of course, I do", I said happily and hugged him tightly. "Thank you", I said heartily. He looked puzzled. "I'm sorry", I said for making him feel embarrassed. "It's ok. Let's go", he said and got up. I got up too. We didn't want to prolong the edgy moment. We walked out of the exit door silently.

To break the silence, I said "Thank you" when we walked outside the building. He simply smiled and said nothing. I didn't want to seem desperate, so I kept mum too and walked right behind him. We went to the canteen and had our lunch there. The food was amazing. There were about ten varieties of food to choose from. I had a stomach full and we went to the garden outside.

When we were out, Rahul asked me with an alluring broad smile, "Did I not make you feel better?" I realised that I was blushing without conscience. I immediately straightened up and replied warmly, "Yes, you did. Many people have been betraying me. You and your brother are really the best people in the world, of course after my mamu." He seemed happy to hear that. I had a strange feeling that he had started to like me more than his beautiful Samantha. So to divert his mind, I told, "I must go back home to meet him. He must be worried coz he loves me as much as his hypocritical son." "Wow. I just hope he does", he commented sarcastically. I scowled confused. He laughed and asked, "Where do you think your dear Viku is staying right now?"

I was shocked and speechless. He said calmly yet with a tint of sarcasm, "He is after all his only son. He would definitely be on his side." He paused for a while to see my reaction. I felt horrible and it was visible on my face. The only person left out whom I thought had loved me had also turned me down. "But don't fret, you are always welcome in my home if you don't feel like going there!", he said reassuringly handing me a visiting card. I took it. "But I think talking can make things work out", he added. I got angry at that. "Then why don't you talk to Samantha in the first place?", I retorted. He hadn't himself worked things out with a girl he didn't like and there he was advising me.

When things were so crystal clear, there was no need to talk. I knew that talking would only worsen my pain. I felt like going back to the woods. All the inspiration and good vibes that I had gotten from the session were destroyed in seconds.

I turned to walk away outside towards the archway when I saw a person walking towards the parking area whom I knew from somewhere. He wore a white and blue pyjama like the other devotees. He was slightly taller but thinner than Rahul. He had a dusky skin tone and brownish hair. His facial features were flawless and handsome. I forgot my anguish at the moment and asked Rahul pointing at the man, "Do you by any chance know that person? He seems familiar." "No. I haven't seen him before", he replied sharply and walked towards the parking area without waiting for me. I must have offended him. I followed him because I had no other go. It was not possible for me to walk back to the highway all by myself.

Rahul got onto his bike and turned on the accelerator. He took his bike out of the parking area, looked at me and asked, "Coming?" I nodded and got onto his bike. "Drop me by the highway. I'm going to be camping a few more days", I told him.

"Are you crazy or what? If you are not comfortable in anybody's home, better stay here in the ashram at least. It's not safe in the forest", he said with concern. "The forest is very much safe. There are no vile humans there to disrupt my happiness", I said. "ok. Suit you. I'm not going to interfere in your life", he said and started his bike.

When we reached the archway, I remembered who that man was whom we saw near the parking spot. "Stop!!", I shouted at Rahul. He immediately halted the bike without even questioning. I got down from the bike and started running towards the parking area. "What happened?!", Rahul asked as he was getting down from the bike.