Attack On Crack » aot crackfic

pilot

(a/n: this will be from Armin's point of view, and the timeline is all messed up bEC I'M NOT FOLLOWING THE ORIGINAL STORYLINE COMPLETELY, so yeah! Enjoy!)

You created the group 'Survey Corps'

Sasha:
A groupchat?
Hell yeah!!
Time for me to shine

Eren:
Wdym?

Jean:
Please don't send that demonic audio you sent me last night

Connie:
Ayo what did she send?

Jean:
Probably a recorded exorcism

Sasha:
HEY!!
IT WAS A POTATO CHIP ASMR!!

Jean:
THEN WHY TF WERE YOU MOANING

Ymir:
She was moaning? 😏😏

Mikasa:
Oh god...

Me:
Guys, I made this group for important purposes???
Why are we talking about the m word again?

Hanji:
M WORD?!?!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Eren:
Dude you're embarassing me

Levi:
Your existence is embarrassing, brat

Eren:
Tell me why i just got roasted

Me:
We don't have time for that, Eren
Humanity is at stake

Annie:
I mean when is it not

Connie:
It's all good Armin!
The titans are chilling outside the walls
Kids are probably watching Disney on their TVs
And my Instagram acc is aesthetic af
What else do you want?

Sasha:
Food

Mikasa:
Saw that coming

Me:
I'll just say it
In one of Eren's recent tests, the scientists found a certain virus
It isn't smth they've seen before

Hanji:
Ooooh yea yea
I was there
The scientist guy was so scared lmao
He told me that it was contagious and people could die from it and then fainted-
Oh.

Levi:
Yes, and your forgetful ass chose not to tell us about it

Hanji:
I bet your old ass would've forgotten it too lawl

Mikasa:
WHAT THE FUCK
IS EREN OKAY
DO I NEED TO STRANGLE

Reiner:
Literally who are you gonna slaughter

Mikasa:
Bertol prolly
He looks strangleable

Bertholdt:
Nooo :((

Eren:
The way he has no motivation to even correct his name's spelling

Annie:
I bet he himself doesn't know the spelling either

Me:
EREN
ARE YOU NOT CONCERNED THAT YOU HAVE A CONTAGIOUS AND DEADLY VIRUS?

Eren:
Oh yeah
Yeahhh
Shit

Levi:
What do we do now?

Jean:
We could probably isolate him
Quarantine him ykyk

Christa:
He seems awfully happy w that idea

Jean:
Stick to your woman Christa

Ymir:
HOW DARE YOU FUCFSXJIJ
I'LL BITE YOU

Eren:
So you're telling us you're a mosquito?

Ymir:
...yes exactly

Hanji:
So it's been decided!!
Eren goes into quarantine tomorrow!! :D

Connie:
More time for him to play among us
I'm jealous

Me:
Is that LITERALLY your only concern???

Connie:
Yeah obv
What else...
Oh
.

Levi:
I'm stuck with idiots

(a/n: ooc characters aye

This is just the beginning! It gets better!

Did you like it? Do let me know!

Thanks for reading!)