word count: 1555
She/her
POV. Fandral
I sat at a huge table next to Thor and all ours friends. Whole Asgard was celebrating Thors birthday everyone was laughing, eating and dancing. Atleast three dame's tried to flirt with me until now but honestly I didn't even look at them. Maybe it was the same women everytime... I couldn't have told. Because my whole attention was on him.
Loki.
I don't know why. Not like I wouldn't see him everyday and not like I decided every single time that he's just a liar, that the others are right and that he can't be trust. I never really tried actively talking to him though-
But this time it was different. he acted strange. Usually he would have already kissed atleast 5 people, would have a men and a women sitting on his lap, probably kissing the next person while already flirting with someone else. And it wasn't like no one wanted Loki today. No. Many tried and they all failed. He just pushed them aside, ignored them, acted like no one outside the book he was reading existed and I truly wondered why.
What was different then all the other times? I really didn't know. Maybe it was only the fact that his book was to good to be interrupted but last time he just made someone read it out loud to him to be still able to make out with someone while getting along with the story, so it probably was something else.
But I couldn't lay my eye one it. Maybe he didn't feel that well? But why should he even show up if he didn't want to party?
„Hey! Hey! Fandral? Are you still with us? What are you staring at?"
„Huh?" I winced a bit still trying to proceed Thors words.
„I don't think he's mentally with us right now." laughed Sif.
„A man can dream." I tried to defend myself but they laughed out loud.
„Ah yes, and what are you dreaming of? Certainly not about any women since you ignored the last 3."
I rolled my eyes and stood up, not intrested in a drunk conversation with Sif. My eyes were already on Loki again who seemed to be in some kind of discomfort even tho I really couldn't tell why.
POV. Loki
Why was I even here? It was my brothers birthday every year, I really should have stayed at home but no. Ofc he had convinced me somehow to still join the party. I regret that decision very much.
I felt extremely uncomfortable having to appear masculine even tho I was clearly a women today but who would understand that? They wouldn't. All those boys and girls they came for Loki. Loki with a dick and a flat chest. Loki without makeup or any feminine features. They wouldn't want me. Not like this.
So I tried to act investigated in my book. Like I would be just the weird brother of Thor. Wish I was somehow. I just wished I could be his sister instead.
My thoughts trailed off, so I didn't notice Fandral appearing right in front of me. I wasn't surprised at all to see him though. I knew of his attraction towards me. It was kinda cute how he tried to overplay it. But at the other hand many people were attracted to me so why should I care about him.
Well maybe it was the fact he tried to overplay it. He was surprisingly shy about it. The others weren't. They just came and fucked me. Then they were gonna again. It was kinda odd thinking about the fact he may not even thought about fucking me but was attracted to me in a more romantic way.
I couldn't tell wich one it was and I didn't knew what I would prefer.
„What are you reading?" he suddenly asked after just staring at me for a couple of minutes.
I looked up too him caught off guard. „Doesn't matter. It's boring anyways."
„Well for that you seem very investigated in the story." he offered me a short smile.
„It's more a distraction." I answered honestly.
'honestly' I don't know if I like that word. It feels off but at the same time it fitted the best. Why didn't I just lie to him? Would have made the now following conversation a lot more easier.
„Well my highness, why would someone like you need a distraction at a party like this?"
I have to admit I turned red at that. Even tho I wished he didn't saw it I know he did. I didn't knew how to react and since I'm royal I don't need to justify myself. So I ran away.
My cape dramatically waved behind me. I almost was at my room when Fandral grabbed my wrist tightly. Confused I turned around.
„I'm truly sorry if I offended you my prince." he started to apologize. I just stared at the floor.
Somehow I wished he knew. That he would know and accept me. That he would care. And not just hope for a royal one night stand. But I was a fool for thinking that. Why should he care for me? He wouldn't understand like no one ever would.
I wanted to throw a sharp comment at him and then turn around, hid in my room and cry. But I didn't. The words escaped my mouth faster then I could have stopped them.
„I'M NOT YOUR PRINCE."
Fandral flinched away surprised by me suddenly raising my voice. But he was a solider and a brave man so his fear didn't last long. „What else would you be then Loki?" he asked calmly like he hadn't just looked at me like I wanted kill him.
I didn't want to reply nor did I knew how. Everything was just too much right now. I felt more and more uncomfortable in my appearance and my brain just didn't work like I wanted it too. I couldn't think of something mean or a lie. My mind only screamed at me that it was too late that he would know now and that it wouldn't end in a Happy End.
I blankly stared at him, didn't move, barely even breathed. That was until the tears begann rolling down my cheeks. I was so overwhelmed with the whole situation that I just wasn't able to stop them.
The next moments felt like a fever dream: Fandral grabbing my hand pushing me in me room, letting me sit on the bed, speaking calm word's towards me I wasn't able to proceed and softly holding my hand.
He must have thought I had gone insane when I shape shifted in front of him in a female version of myself. I still wore my masc clothes and felt uncomfortable but somehow it was kinda relieving shifting in a female body.
For a split second I forget Fandral was even there. That was until he breathed out loudly.
„Gosh you're such a pretty women."
I never dreamed of someone actually saying something like that about myself and it made me cry again.
„No, don't cry. Loki, it's fine. Look what a beautiful beautiful women you are. I understand. Don't worry. Do you wanna change your clothes?" Gently he rubbed my tears away with his thumb smiling lovely at me. After a minute I slowly nod about his request.
Fandral took my hand again and helped me get up leading me to the closet. The moment I opened it he turned away facing the wall.
„What should I pick-?" I asked shyly still insecure about my genderfluidity and unsure if he would really still like me in a dress.
„Something that makes you comfortable." he plainly answered.
Still hesitaiting I grabbed for a beautiful green dress. I loved that dress. It had been my moms before she died. Slowly I put it on.
When I was finished I grabbed Fandrals hand and went with him to the bed again. This time he sat down next to me.
„Wow-" he finally said after checking me out for what felt like forever. „You're such an attractive women." I blushed.
For a moment we sat in a discomforting silence but he broke it. Asking me if he was allowed to kiss me. Instead of replying I kissed him, soft and deeply.
This was something I was good at. Making out with someone. I never did it like this though. Never as women. And I never thought I could one day.
Quickly the lovely kiss turned in a much more sloppy and desirable kiss. I wanted him so badly. But after kissing down his neck he stopped me.
„Don't, pls. I didn't came to fuck you Loki. I love you....I can't handle being only a one night stand." He looked so sad that I completely forgot any desire I had only seconds ago. Instead I embraced him in a hug, pulling him close.
I let myself fall on my back, still holding him tight to my chest. „It's okay Fandral, you won't be just a one night stand." He looked up at me surprised. „Actually I enjoy you caring for me and not my ability in bed." I smiled at him and he kissed me in response.
