Please turn away, dont look at me, not like this.
you wanna know what's sad?
My little sister walking in and looking down at my arm and asking me if I was okay?
She saw the paper towel I was using to clean wrist. She then asked if i wanted a bandaid. And you know what i said?
I said "yeah i'm fine, I don't need a bandaid"
That's what hurts the most. My little sister seeing her big sister like this. When I have these mental breakdowns I never let my sister see it. She keeps asking me if i'm okay. I'm sitting on the floor with my blanket over my head and she said "Can you get up?" "Can you play with me?"
I don't want to move from this spot, I want to sit here and be left alone. But I know i'm not going to be able to do that.
I hate myself as a big sister. I'm so sorry to my little sister's. I'm sorry that I stay in my room 24/7, i'm sorry that I don't play with you, i'm sorry that i'm even your big sister. You deserve better.
