"When I was full of loneliness, this garden bloomed.
The garden you created.
Now that you are gone, it slowly dies.
Along with the heart that blossomed in your presence."
-
they were born to stay separate.
she was born to never know him.
he was...
I met her on a sunny day. The leaves had not yet turned their shade of red, and the flowers were in full bloom. She was laughing, lost in her world amongst the flowers. Even then she was beautiful. I remember the way her hair sparkled its soft shade of red in the setting sun, the way her cheeks turned pink at even the slightest sign of a smile, the way she resembled light and love...the way she still does.
Father had warned me against meeting her, he told me that I had obligations which she could not be a part of. We were born to stay separate. She was born to never know me. I was born to stay away.
But I had to see her at least once, I had to meet her.
I should've known that she would only be hurt in the end.
Maybe I shouldn't visit her now. Maybe I should erase her from my memory. Maybe this was how it was meant to be.
But I can't do that. I can't leave her alone.
Not even now.
A soft call from a raven who waits on the branches of a giant oak which protects where she now sleeps breaks me out of my thoughts. I smile softly before looking up into the tree, though it may be bitterly.
"Hello, Taehyung."
At the mention of his name, he narrows those pitch-black eyes and flies off the branch, transforming into a man. Standing next to her, like the protector he was meant to be, he narrows his eyes. His hair black like his feathers, his cloak as majestic as his wings, he doesn't say a word.
Any familiarity we may have had with the other is gone now.
"Did you know I was coming?" I ask him, weary to move forward.
"I'm still your familiar, master. Of course, I knew."
Though he may have been my familiar in the past, that contract was broken long ago. He now serves one purpose, and it's a lost one.
But at least he knows his purpose.
Can I say the same?
"I'll leave you to speak with her." He murmurs before transforming once more and flying away. Not far enough that he won't be able to watch over her, but far enough so that I can speak to her without any interruptions.
Once he's gone, I'm left alone with her.
But there are no words left to say.
Biting my bottom lip, I kneel before her and offer up the flowers I've brought from my garden. The garden I first saw her in, the garden where I was reunited, the garden where she left.
How can one have so many memories, and then be lost every time they were together? How can she be marked on my heart, and yet every time I visit her, it's as though it's for the first time?
Even though I can remember every curve to her face, even though I could tell you the very color of her, even though I could describe to you in extensive detail the movement of her lips, the flutter of her eyes...
...I still long to see it one last time.
"I wasn't made to know you," I murmur, hardly even able to raise my eyes to her. I made this resting place, and yet I cannot bear to lay eyes on it. I can't bear to come to the reality that she is no longer able to stay by my side.
"Did you know that?" I chuckle, remembering her strong spirit, her laugh. "I'm sure you did, but you never cared."
Why do you trust fate?
"You never believed me."
I was made to defy fate.
"If I had told you this would happen...then would you have stayed away?"
I make my own path.
"Then would you have been safe?"
And it just so happens that I want you to be a part of it.
I didn't know tears until I met her. And on the day she left, I thought that all my tears had been used up. I thought that would be the last time I allowed myself to cry.
If that were the case, then why are my cheeks wet?
Is this what they call...despair?
Grief?
"I came here to tell you that I won't be visiting anymore." I swallow hard, staring at the flowers, and watch as the harsh wind pulls some of their petals from the stem. Leaving them to make their path on the current of the wind.
"I've decided that I'm going to move on."
One day I won't be here anymore.
"You told me to be happy."
I just want to know that you'll be okay.
"So I'm going to try my best to find what that means."
Swallowing hard, I hesitate for a moment, my hand shaking before I grab hold of the porcelain edges and pull the mask off of my face. Holding it gently in my two hands, I stare at it. It holds so many years of pain and suffering, hides a part of myself that I wish I could forget.
And yet it also reminds me of her.
"You know...every time I think of you I'm in pain."
Memories of her laugh, the sunlight sparkling off of her hair, the flowers in bloom, and her sweet voice echoing over the walls of the castle in which I reside. A prison which she turned into a home.
A home that has broken with her absence.
The mask used to hide a person who I wished had never existed. But now it is useless, because with her...
I am grateful to be alive.
"But I don't want to forget you."
I smile before placing it next to the flowers.
Today is a sunny day. The leaves have not yet turned their shade of red, and the flowers are in full bloom. It's a beautiful day, and on the breeze, I can almost swear I hear her whisper, a ghost of a laugh that will continue to live on in my dreams. For she will always be dancing, even if it's not with me.
And though it kills me, I smile.
I'm unable to forget the tears, unwilling to forget her.
Because even after all this time...
"I still want you."
⊳⊱≼⋄≽⊰⊲
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