𝙋𝙍𝙀𝘾𝘼𝙍𝙄𝙊𝙐𝙎

Bitten Tongue

* Nieva *

"...we have her in custody," one of the officers told me. They were referring to my fake mother, the woman they caught after 4 hours of scouring our town.

Aspen was being questioned with her mother. My father was found dead at our home. All I had left was a court appointed lawyer who spoke in my interest.

"Thanks," I give the officer a weak smile.

"No problem." He starts to leave, then turns back to give me a hopeful smile. "I know this might seem like the end of your world, but things do get better, Nieva."

"Thanks," I repeat, my heart hollow.

"Can I see Aspen?" I then ask him tentatively.

"She's still being questioned regarding you guy's, um, breaking and entering," he informed me.

"Where am I gonna go after this?" I ask.

"You'll be turning 18 in a matter of months, so you'll most likely be sent to stay with a relative or put into a temporary home." He turned to go, so I didn't bother him with anymore questions.

"Thanks," I say to no one in particular.

It seemed to be the only thing I can say now.

Life surely has given me a lot of things to be thankful for, right? And I say this in the most sarcastic way possible. I could complain about one thing and the rebuttal is that I should be grateful for all my good. Why can't I wish to have good always? Why does the thought of having some good have to be my cure to endure the bad? Which is a temporary cure. One that doesn't really work, and it only gives one peace of mind. Be grateful that you have this and that Nieva.

The final question at the end of my journey seems to always be-

"Why me?"

A few hours later, Ms. Kerry entered the room.

"Hi," I say, drained emotionally. I had a stack of books to keep me company and some snacks the nice officer brought me. I had only been able to talk to Aspen for a short while, and her mental health was pretty crappy right now too.

"I'm taking you in baby. I won't let you lose yourself. Elverwood is your home. You must stay here. Be with your friends," she told me passionately.

"You don't even know me. Why would you do this for me? I mean, I'm appreciative but-

"I know everything, honey. I'm here for you."

In this moment Ms. Kerry felt like something of a fairy godmother rather than an elderly lady. I couldn't stop crying, my tears were uncontrollable.

"It's alright hun. And I owe it to your friend Aspirin, was it? She saved my life. I'm going to save yours."

"Aspen," I chuckle, embracing the older lady.

"This is just terrible," Ms. Kerry shook her head.

"A copy of my birth certificate," I say slowly. "That was the evidence they needed. She had a confession of everything she had done on the back of it."

"Oh," the older woman sighed.

"It's make me," I sucked in a breath, trying to keep my tears at bay, "it makes me feel like I'm a fraud for accepting a woman I should have known was not my own mother. How did I not know? How did I not know that this woman wasn't my mother?" I slammed my hands on the table. "How didn't I know?"

"Nieva," Ms. Kerry attempted embracing me.

"How did I not know?"

I could feel my breathing quickening. "I- I can't do this." My eyes swept around the room. I felt like I was moving through water. I was dead inside. My eyes were open but some part of me felt like they were closed. I was talking but my lips wouldn't move. I found my body lunging at Ms. Kerry and snatching off her broach.

I slid the sharp, bejeweled object across my wrists and throats as she hollered, thumping on the door for somebody to help me. The sharp thing tore through my skin and snagged and snatched, my warm trickle of blood tickling my skin as it crawled its way down my body, trying to claim and overtake me. I wanted my blood to eat me whole. Encompass my entire body, until what was inside was on the outside.

Bare for everybody to see and judge me. They'll judge me anyways, why not give them a show?

This is pain.

If I open myself up...will I find a fraud me?