One sided affair -simkus-

Chapter 1: I could never love you.

Imagine suffering from a touch of a hand, fingers intertwined, a breathless whisper piercing through his ears. "I'm sorry, I could never love you, Simon." The robust male muffled, watching tears run down the blonde's face.  
Simon never understood why it wasn't him instead of North, the concept of sexuality had faded. He didn't even know that he was or wasn't completely straight until he laid eyes on Markus. All he could do was nod, as Markus was his best friend; never a lover. Although he cared for Simon deeply it was strictly platonic, Simon could only understand but not emotionally get it. 

Simon backed away, letting go of the other's hand. "You don't have to tell me. I already know, I'm trying hard to move on. You don't need to tell me for the fourth time." Simon glanced as he wiped the old tears before they could go down to his neck. He lowered his gaze at the male's feet, he no longer wanted to stare at Markus' irises. 
"Simon, you don't have to leave." Markus sighed, stepping closer, pulling the other close into a hug. "I can't love you, but maybe someone else can." Markus winced at his own words before burying his face in the blonde's neck, letting out a quiet but audible sob. 
The other's embrace was confusing to Simon, the muffled sobs still echoing through his ears, Simon slowly wrapped his arms around Markus' back where he'd calmly hum a soft tone. "I'll never leave you. You're my best friend after all." Simon lowered his head as the words hurt him, he wanted more than friendship and he could never achieve that. 

He was lonely and nobody could help him. He could contact his parents but he never really cared for them, as he didn't for them either. 

As the days passed on he would lay inside his bed for days, staring at his ceiling, his lethargic blue sleepless eyes watching his ceiling until he saw spots. He would receive phone calls from his brother, Daniel, however he never answered. 
His eyes staring at the dots turning into shapes, his head blurred. 
The blank expression on his face dropped as he turned onto his side, blinking a few times, he grabbed at his phone and scrolled through text messages. 
He listened to his brother's voice messages, a weak smile appeared onto his lips, almost sheepish. "Daniel, come over, why don't you?" He asked in a voice message before putting his phone down, his eyes staring at his door before getting up quickly.  

He looked at his reflection in his mirror, his strawberry blonde hair ruffled and messy, dried saliva on the corners of his mouth from reckless and heavy sleep. He walked over towards the mirror, turning it around, so he couldn't look at himself for another minute. He then turned and let out a sigh, the same type of sigh that Markus made a few days back, except this time he wasn't there. 
Markus, where is Markus? He missed him but it didn't matter anymore, he heard the news from Markus' posts. Markus had engaged to North, leaving Simon to only think about if he'd come to the wedding party or not.

Simon was jealous, he resented North throughout the years but he kept it a secret cos they were close friends. He would sit there and watch them in the past, watching them love each other, it was like watching a terrible romance movie, like twilight. 
Simon wanted Markus to love him, but if he couldn't have Markus then what was the point of love as Markus wasn't his but his guilt of longing for the other even more made his stomach upset. He needed to wash his face, his brother was coming over after all. He just needed someone, someone who he could rely on. Perhaps they could go to a joint around town, anything to get his mind off of Markus. 

With that noted, the blonde hopped inside the shower, cleaning himself for a few hours until he heard a familiar rhythm in a knock at his front door. 

To be continued.....