Endless: An Autobiography of an Immortal

Chapter 5 - Bonding

Meditation, I found, was great for many things. It helped cure any sickness I had and heal my wounds. It let me assist the immune system when I came across poison and venom. What it didn't do, however, was answer the questions I had about that night. I could sense my body's functioning automatically; my lungs filling with air, my heart pumping blood to the body's extremities, my nervous system sending signals to my brain, even my kidneys filtering blood and the various functions of the liver. What it couldn't do is tell me what the different fluids were for near my urine expulsion device. Or how to do something with various parts of the body that I thought only had one purpose. Knowing there was more to the body that I still didn't know, I spent many years in meditation trying to discover the various uses of each part and what was going on inside me. Much to the disappointment of some overzealous members of the group, I never did find out how to use all parts of my body while I was there.

Throughout these years I stayed with this group, helping when they took down camp and moved to a new area or observing the various activities they engaged in. Watching them do the same things over and over and not learning from their experience was hard to see. Observing them give birth to new ones and feeding them with their chest was fascinating. Learned that only women could do that. Mourning with them when some died, either from run ins from animals or sicknesses. Noticing that in the time that it took for one to be born, grow up, and then die, I didn't seem to age a single day. As I mentioned before, I was a patient person, patient enough to watch several generations come and go. Everyone had parents except for me. And not only was their average lifespan low due to accidents but they also just died much sooner than most people today do. Thankfully they either didn't notice I never aged or they just didn't care. I did though. So much so that I felt the need to once again leave behind something I was accustomed to, something familiar, and strike off to a world unknown. I didn't find what I wanted here and I wasn't going to wait around for it to find me.

Gathering just the essentials and creating a new bed backpack, I set off again in search of answers. I still felt like following the coast, somehow still thinking this land was simply just a very large island. Imagine my dread when the coastline just wouldn't stop. Further and further I traveled West and South. I ran into more groups like the first one. I'd spend a little time with them, but not nearly as much as the first. I knew my answers weren't among them. So I'd leave again and again, traveling alone. The scenery would be different and I'd meet more animals and plants I've never seen before. I'd spend some time studying them all. Some of the animals were small and cute, many large and powerful, but the feeling of emptiness was still all around me. They all had their groups and families. Those that looked similar to each other and had the same abilities. I had nothing. I had no one.

My journeys took me far, and eventually the coastline started heading North, which initially made me quite happy. However I would soon learn that just because things start to look like one thing doesn't mean they end up being what you think they are. The coast went up North far more than East and the climate kept changing, but not in a good way. Food was getting less abundant and the weather was getting awfully cold sooner than it should be. Ice caps would do that, but I didn't know that at the time. I just kept traveling thinking that it'll get better, but the further I went, the worse it got. I knew I couldn't keep going further up without resorting to only eating animals, which my body didn't take kindly to. So I turned around, defeated. I decided that once I got further South to where there was abundant food, I'd turn East and head directly into the land, hoping to find a sea that would bring me around to where I landed.

I was still following the coast back when it started raining one day. It was a bitter cold. On my way up, I remembered a cave I walked past and decided to use it for shelter. What a big mistake that turned out to be. If there's one thing I realized real quick in my travels off the island, it was that the wild animals do not see me as a friend right away. Back on the island the animals were smaller too, here in the vast tracts of land, they apparently had plenty of room to grow. And I just walked into one of those big mean animal's house. There in front of me was a huge cave bear and it wasn't happy I popped in to say hello. If there's one thing I learned about the run in with the lion, it's how to defend oneself, or rather avoid getting smacked in the face by a claw. I put my improving quick reflexes to work, avoiding all the swipes and bites that came my way. My mind raced on what to do. I do not like killing animals, but when cornered, it's either my life or theirs. A quick glance around the cave gave me what I needed. I drew the bear to the center of the cave, where a huge stalactite dripped dew hung from the ceiling. Angering it with quick jabs of my spear, it threw a mighty paw, only for me to dodge. I slowly backed away again, enticing it ever forward. It bellowed. This is my chance. With all my might, I leaped up to the stalactite with enough force to knock it down on top of the bear's neck. It was a quick death. And it was almost also mine. I looked down to see that I wasn't as fast as I thought, bleeding profusely where the beast was able to make contact with my chest. Adrenaline only working to mask the pain for so long.