Welcome home buddy,
We've missed you.
We knew you'd be back.
Welcome home
where the day has no brightness,
the drained sun sets at 4
and all you're left with are your
Thoughts. Regrets. Tears.
This is where the screams are wretched
and the blood is thick. As it drizzles and seeps:
From the heart which tirelessly worked,
down your wrist.
This is where the stomach knots
and the pain is physical. Like a knife which
gouges the very life from your soul,
the intermittent impulse of
Agony. Anguish. Torment.
This is where your enemies are your brain, your heart,
the very things that keep you alive.
A self destructing and contradicting anatomy,
don't you think?
This is where the mask is acquired and everything is fake. The feelings, the laugh, the half
smile and the rehearsed lines. The regurgitated 'I'm fine' and 'I'm just tired' lines.
This is where the punches are thrown and the anger is relentless. The fury, violence and rage. The essential desire to destroy and break things.
This is where the drugs become your lifelines. The obscuring of the mind and thoughts, the physical vertigo and fuzziness that is your escape. And you become comfy, you don't stop and it's now the norm.
This is where the expression is set in stone. The straight-edged lips with the empty and sorrowful eyes. The dropped eyebrows and tired cheeks. The relaxed and wilting posture. The staring. The fucking stare, into the void. 'The call of the void'.
This is where the bleak nothingness of your room
protects and provides comfort. Hiding from yourself
in a T-shirt too big; to be rid of the self-consciousness.
This is where the alcohol heals and messes
your brain. The forgetfulness, the lightheadedness, the relief and the happiness, the laughter and the joy. Of reminiscing in memories old.
This is where you put pen to paper, to apologise
and to justify your 'stupidness'. Only to be called selfish when the pain finally does stop
Forever.
So welcome home buddy.
We're always here for you.
To fall back on,
and even when you're gone,
we'll be there for your family,
and friends.
And we will pester them
And inject them with our poison
Again, and again.
Yours sincerely
Depression.
