I Fell Out of Love

First Encounter

I've always loved dreaming. It was something I could never physically hold, but funny enough it was always surrounding me. I would dream quite often whether it was while I was sleeping, daydreaming in Calculus class, or when I was making my vision board. I dreamed about a lot of things such as getting a nose piercing, running away, traveling around the world, and even getting a tattoo which if I actually did my Asian parents would kill me. I just loved to dream. One thing I always dreamed of was finding my true love. I know I know what you must be thinking oh my gosh how cliche can this girl get? Well, I'm a hopeless romantic okay I blame it on books, movies, and even songs that made me a little delusional. One thing I didn't expect was that love could be right in front of me. His name was Mako. Mako never made a grand gesture to ask me out, write me a love letter, or even organize a whole flash mob. Our love story was "cute' to put it simply. Maybe that's why I fell out of love with him. Or maybe I just needed to choose myself. One thing I will always dream of is his voice constantly calling me Flower.

(Flashback to First Encounter)

I believe the world gives you whatever you need. That's how I think I ended up with Patience Kang my best friend since elementary school. She is one of the most impatient people I have ever met, but I still love her because we just blend. I would say she is the Jungkook to my Yoongi. I will always go with whatever she is doing no matter what no matter how much I dislike it.

"I don't get why I have to come," I said.

"Because college is wearing us down, look, we are getting wrinkles," Patience said pointing at nonexistent wrinkles on her forehead.

"Hey, we can't wrinkle, remember Asians don't raisin" I laughed.

"You are officially the lamest person I know," Patience said sarcastically.

"I didn't know you had other friends besides me and the Astro posters you keep in your closet" I laughed.

"Hey, you promised to keep that a secret," Patience houghed.

"I don't know who else I would tell all my other friends besides you went away for college," I said.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Let's go, I am starving" Patience said, dragging me into Aunty Mae's Hot Pot.

Since the restaurant wasn't busy, the aunties working there just gestured for us to sit wherever. Patience pushed into a random booth and sat right next to me. I took off my tote bag from my arm sitting right next to me while I stared at Patience while she looked at me and just shrugged.

"You know I think your parents named you wrong" I stated.

"How so?"Patience said.

"You don't have any patience in you" I stated.

"Hey, I only don't have patience when I am starving. What about you Ms.Himawari you aren't actually a sunflower." Patience laughed.

"At least I bring "sunshine" into your life" I joked.

"I'm full of it already."Patience laughed.

Patience and I enjoyed our small talk for a while until one of the aunties working put down water and menus. I scanned the menu looking at what I wanted before Patience got up to greet her friend Joseph and his Mako.

"Good to see you," Patience said getting off the booth giving Joseph and then gave a hug. I got out of the booth after he hugged Joseph and gave Mako a handshake since I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable.

"Nice to meet you," I said shaking Mako's hand.

"Likewise," He said shaking my hand back

"Enough introductions come on let's look at what we want and order," Patience said, shoving me back into the booth. As I instructed, all of us went back into the booth waiting for one of the aunties to come back to take our order.

"So Hima how are you these days," Joseph said.

"Patience and I are getting wrinkles and wearing down slowly" I laughed.

"Well, no wonder Patience looks like a grandma," Joseph laughed.

"You won't be laughing when I eat your hot pot," Patience said.

"Alright, chill," Joseph said. We all scanned the menu deciding as a table what ingredients we wanted together and what we wanted separately. Once we decided we called one of the aunties.

"You order," Patience nudged me.

"Why me?"I said.

"Cause you can speak Korean, maybe they'll give us extra stuff," Patience said.

"My Korean is decent, not the greatest" I tried protesting but it was too late because one of the aunties came telling us what we would like to order.

"라면 2개, 당면 2개, 어묵, 차돌박이, 떡볶이, 두부, 표고버섯, 미나리, 청경채를 부탁합니다'' I said leaving the aunty smiling when she left the table. (We would like to have two ramen noodles, two glass noodles, fish cakes, brisket, an order of spicy rice cakes, tofu, shiitake mushrooms, watercress, and bok choy).

"Look at that, '' she smiled. I knew you speaking in Korean would help," Patience laughed.

"You're Korean, you know," I laughed.

"Yeah, I can understand just not speaking it," Patience argued.

"So Hima is Korean?"Mako asked. This is interesting because this is the first thing he said all of dinner.

"Uh no, it's Japanese," I said.

"Oh, so what's Hima short for?"Mako asked

"Hima is short for Himawari," I said.

"So why Himawari if you are Korean?"Mako asked.

"I'm half Korean and half Japanese," I said.

"Ah that's cool I'm half Japanese and Filipino. I learned Japanese and Filipino from my parents so sometimes my vocabulary gets mixed up." Mako said.

"That's cool," I said.

"So what does Himawari mean?"Mako asked

"It means sunflower," I said sincerely.

"Aw flower what a nice name" Mako smiled sincerely.

"We don't call her flower," Patience laughed. Mako looked down at his hands, slightly embarrassed. He called me Flower, but I knew he didn't mean any harm.

"It's okay you can call me Flower I think it's cute," I said giving a smile

Mako looked up from his hands smiling at me saying "I think it's cool your name is such a unique Flower" Mako smiled.

The butterflies I felt when he called me a flower made me feel the same way when Peter Kanvisky told Lara Jean Always and Forever. When in reality I should've thought about the first book when Peter Kanivsky asked "Why is love so scary". My answer would be love doesn't compare to all the books I've read and all the movies I've seen. Most romance books and movies end in a happy ending. What if I can't get that? I should've remembered everything I've read and seen ends in a happy ending. We don't see the drama, tears, madness, or distraught after their happy ending.