The Birth of Ignaius - (Part 2 of the Ignaius-Saga)

Rest

Tanier was wondering, if possibly he would have been happy to see even Rovik or Nevala now, but seeing just a handfull of guards was rather better, as he could see that they were indeed bringing some water and something that was possibly food. They put it down near the door and two of them unchained both men. They were out of the door, before Tanier could move, his whole body, but mostly his arms hurting from being tied up.

He badly wanted to crawl over to the bowl of water to drink, but refrained, even if it was with an effort. The first thing he did instead was to walk over to Variel with stiff legs, pull his jackett off his hurting shoulders again and put it around the young man, whom he gathered in his arms.

Variel's full weight was on Tanier; were he to be set down, his legs would not support him. He barely had the energy to clutch the jacket with one hand and Tanier's shirt with the other, clinging to him and hiding his stained face against his chest. His body shuddered with exhaustion and relief, and now he was fading fast. He didn't even realize that water and food had been brought in. He was only aware that he was no longer chained to the table and that the king was there, holding him even though he was a disgusting mess. The jacket and the warm body dispelled some of the cold, and it was all enough to bring back that overpowering urge to sleep.

When Variel fell asleep literally on him, Tanier waited for a while, until he was sure that the boy was sleeping deep enough so that he would probably not wake up when moved carefully. He made him as comfortable as possible on the table. He was pretty sure this would have been a lot more difficult, if the boy was awake, but he was sure they would sleep a lot better on the table than on the pile of damp rags against an equally damp wall. The rags may be good for a pillow, but not much else. When he had done so and was convinced that he would not easily wake up, he sneaked over to the provisions that guards had left them. It wasn't much. Bread and water, not enough to really satisfy both of them. Surely not enough to wash. He put the bowl to his lips and drank. He had rarely tasted something as exquisit as this water. He drank roughly half of it, ate half of the bread, then he put the rest of it in the water. It was dry and hard and he was sure Variel would find it difficult to eat, as his mouth must be sore. He hated the idea that he would have to wake him, now that he slept peacefully, but he didn't want to take any risks. They could not know when someone would return and if they would get a chance to eat and drink later. So he walked over to Variel, but the bowl with the bread down on the table next to him and started to shake him gently. "Wake up and eat!"

Variel didn't wake up right away. In fact, it took a few minutes for the king to rouse him enough to get him to start nibbling on the bread. Variel was far from alert and honestly seemed to be eating and drinking the water in his sleep. If he was asked any questions, he didn't answer them with anything more than an unintelligible mumble, nor did he open his eyes throughout the entire process. His body and mind simply refused to return to the world for the time being, but with Tanier's help, it did get what little nutrients had been made available.

Once Variel had eaten and drunken what there was to eat and drink, Tanier stretched out on the table at his side. He loosened slightly the collar around his neck, but didn't take it off. He would risk another beating and as he could not ask Variel, he left it in place. Then he took off his shirt, so that he could cover their legs with it. He still had his pants, but Variel did not and for as long as they were lying close to each other the jacket was able to cover both of them. The body that Tanier pressed against still felt cold and made him shiver at first, but after a while it felt warm enough. It was impossible to ignore the fact that Variel reeked of sex, blood and sweat, but this was insignificant compared to the fact that he was still breathing and his body now again felt slightly warm and no longer like a breathing corpse.

Variel instinctively moved closer to the warmth of the other man's body, despite being dead to the world. He was so exhausted that he did not dream, at least not for several hours.

They were left alone for the rest of that day and throughout the night. For most of that, Variel was still and silent. It was only in the hours just before dawn that he began to get restless, twitching in Tanier's grasp and whimpering. Dreams had returned to him, and after a while of this, he suddenly let out a terrified scream. His eyes flew open and his entire body was frozen. His breathing had stopped in a moment of pure shock.

Tanier was sitting ramrod straight and wide awake. He couldn't even remember waking up, Variel's scream had taken him from deep sleep to wide awake in an instant. He needed a second to make sure that there was no imminent danger and another to understand what had happened. He took Variel and started shaking him. "Variel, wake up! You have been dreaming!"

Variel woke with a gasp and another cry, eyes flying wide and staring up at Tanier's face, not seeing it just yet. It took several seconds and panicked breaths for him to start truly coming awake, and his whole body was shaking even when he did. When the king's face finally started coming into focus in the near complete darkness, the tension melted away and Variel went limp in his grasp.

"...F... fire... I-I dreamed... f-fire... a-all around... men... screaming... a-as they... burned... O-oh... god..." Speaking aloud the contents of his dream almost made it sound absurd that he had reacted this way, but Variel could not pur into words how terrifying it had truly been. He could still barely speak at all. Every word felt like razors sliding across his throat.

"It was just a dream," Tanier's voice was slightly slurred, like the fact that he has been asleep moments ago finally caught up with him. His hand started to caress Variel's chest without even thinking, but he stopped himself before telling the boy everything was fine. He was not fully awake now, but he was still partially aware that things were not fine. The air was chilly and he shivered, so he stretched out at Variel's side again, as it was the only practical way to share the jacket. "Do you think you can go back to sleep? Or do you want to tell me what this dream was about?"

Variel sniffled; he hoped it was only the cold air activating his sinuses and not illness. He was shivering as well, but not just from cold. Both the chill and his fear made him huddle closer to Tanier, ducking his head down against the man's chest. "...I... I will try to... sleep..." He wasn't sure he could, and sleep suddenly didn't seem the refuge he'd hoped it would be, not when he was conscious enough to dream. Still, he was exhausted, and he supposed any imagined nightmare was better than the real one. "I'm... sorry I woke you... sire..."

Variel hadn't really registered yet that the table used for his torment was now their bed. It was dark and he didn't really care about where they were lying, only that he was close to the king for warmth and the illusion of protection.

"No problem, just sleep," Tanier muttered. He wasn't sure, if he would be able to sleep, but he would try. It was still completely dark, possibly they had another few hours to rest. As much as waking from a nightmare - even if it was not his own - was unpleasant, he even felt slightly better after this conversation, as it was the first fully cognizant moment he had shared with Variel since his last ordeal had started. So the rest had done him at least some good.

It was way too cold to be comfortable, but holding the naked young man in his arms, being able to rather feel than hear how his breath got slower and deeper as he was drifting into sleep felt still good. He just wished the circumstances were different.

It occurred to him that this could be one of the last peaceful moments of his life and the idea made it harder to sleep, as he did not want to loose a second of it, did not want to be awoken by harsh words and more torment. He knew that sleeping when he could was important, but he was afraid to loose the last piece of happiness to the dire need to keep himself sane and functioning. He stared into darkness as he held Variel close and listened to his breath, felt his heartbeat against his own chest. Fragile and precious - this is what life was to him in that moment. There was no way to hinder death. It claimed them all eventually. The heartbeat he felt would stop. Sooner or later. He was afraid he may never feel it again, should he fall asleep, but eventually he got tired, darkness and silence wearing him down. He didn't really notice how he got tired and eventually fell asleep, but when he next opened his eyes, pale light was filtering through the windows.

He gently woke up Variel. He didn't want him to be awoken harshly to a world full of torture. So he caressed him while he asked: "Good morning, love, how are you?"