Say Yes

11

   I woke up a few times during the night thinking about how I blew up on Stella. At some point I couldn't go back to sleep so I went and sat on the couch in the living room for what seemed like hours. I didn't bother to turn on the lights, I just sat there in total darkness with my face resting in the palm of my hands. "Aaron?" The lights flickered on. "Why are you sitting out here in the dark?". I turned my face to her and she frowned at me. "Were you crying?" She slowly walked over and sat on my lap cupping my face in her hands. 

   I closed my eyes to her soft touch. "I'm so sorry Stella, I'm so fucking sorry" Another tear makes it out, but Stella stops it from falling by kissing my cheek. "Lets go get ready okay?". She stands and takes my hand in hers signaling me to follow her, but I stay still with my eyes glued to the floor. "Aaron come on". She starts pulling my hand and I let out a sigh as I stand. We walk to the bedroom and I notice the black outfit Stella laid out for me on the bed. After everything I did to her...She's still being so good to me. I don't deserve this.

   As I finish tying my tie Stella walks out of the bathroom in a beautiful black dress and heels. She straightened her hair and put neutral makeup on. "You um, you look beautiful" She flashes a smile and walks out of the room. I go after her. "Stella" I lightly grab her shoulder making her turn to me with a confused face. "I know you haven't forgiven me. Quite frankly I don't want you to. I just want you to know that I'm here for you...through all of this. I'm not leaving your side no matter what" She nods for a bit taking in what I said. "Thank you, now lets go we're gonna be late". I nod as we walk to the car. 

   Stellas childhood home was not far from the house. As we got closer the more anxious she got. I placed my hand on her thigh to calm her down and it seemed to work a bit. We pulled up in front of the house and sat there as she watched people walking into the house. "Are you ready?" She took a deep breath, looked at me and nodded. We stepped out of the car and I walked to her placing my hand on her lower back walking her inside. We were met with a bunch of stares as we walked through the house. 

   "Stella! Oh my baby" A woman cried out as she walked up to us with opened arms. "Hi mama" Stella replied as she embraced the woman. They hugged for a long minute as people stared at them, some crying with a smile, and others shaking their head in disappointment. "Mama this is my boyfriend Aaron". She pulled back from Stella and looked at me with a warm smile. "Its a pleasure to meet you Mrs.Clark, I wish it would have been under better circumstances". She eagerly shook my hand. "Please call me Angie, and yes I agree, but thank you for being here and thank you for bringing my little girl home to me" I smiled and nodded at her, then placed my hand back on Stellas back as we walked to the coffin.

   "You want to see him alone or you want me next to you?". She looked at me as she thought about my question. "Um.. I think I need to speak with him alone". I give her a warm smile, "Okay love, I'll be in the back okay?". She nodded, then walked towards her brother. I watched her as she knelt down and talked to him. As she was doing her thing an older man walked up to her and started exchanging words. He appeared to be intoxicated so I started heading towards them. "You should have never came back" The man slurred out. "Hey man what's your issue?". 

   "Pfft, you can't even stick up for yourself Stella....You killed your brother and you're going to kill your mother too". What the fuck?. "Alright man that's enough, back away". He laughed at my comment. "Yeah or what?", I shook my head at him. "You don't wanna find out". Stella pulled on my sleeve, "Aaron its fine, let's just go". Just then the man pushed me. I took Stellas hands off of me and I gently pushed her to the side. I turned back to the man and I unleashed everything I had in me out onto him. A couple of people pulled me off of the unconscious man. I broke out of their arm and tuned to Stella who was in tears.

   I quickly ran to her and pulled her into a hug. At this point, majority of her relatives were gathered in the room. "If anyone wants to sit here and pin that poor boys death on Stella you've got to be sick in the fucking head. I know all of you knew about his problem....Actual adults....And who did anything? No one, instead you're going to pin it on someone who was a child at the time his issues started, and you're going get mad at her for trying not to end up the same way and trying to better herself? You all should be ashamed of yourselves......Come on we're leaving"

   As we walked out of the house Stella kept her head down avoiding everyones eyes on her. I helped her in the car then I drove off. "I know I'm sounding like a broken record....But I'm sorry". She wiped her face full of tears and turned to me. "He deserved it....He's my uncle on my moms side". I nod at her as I reach over and wipe the new tears that are falling down her face. I pull into a diner parking lot and we get out of the car. "Diner?". I nod at her and smile "We didn't eat anything yet" She nods and she wipes her face again. 

   We enter the diner and grab a booth. She slumps her body down and stares blankly at the menu zoned out. "Stella?"........."Stella". I grab her hand causing her to jump "Huh?". "Your phones ringing baby". She quickly answers not even looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

---

"Hi mama, I'm sorry for causing a scene"

---

"No no, he was drunk it's fine...."

---

"I know, I love you too, see you tomorrow bye"

   She put her phone back in her pocket and let out a sigh. "I ordered for you while you were on the phone" She nodded at me and leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "You know when I was younger, my brother and I used to pretend we were secret agents always on top secret missions" She let out a small chuckle, "I'd pretend to be a hacker on the computer we had in the family room, and I'd tell him the layout of the house through a walkie talkie and he'd run throughout the house avoiding getting caught by bad guys." She started smiling as she recalled the memory. 

   "He sounds like a good brother" She opened her eyes and looked at me still smiling, "He was". Our food came and we ate in silence for the most part. "Stella", "Hm?". "I know these past couple of days have been complete shit and I recognize that I have not made it any easier for you. Im disgusted by the way I have been treating you and I need you to tell me how to make to up to you". She let out a sigh, "Aaron last night hurt yes... but I'm not mad at you and I certainly don't need you to make anything up to me. You realizing how you behavior has been is enough, now you have to work on it...You have anger issues and you need to work on that. The shooting has you on edge I get it and I understand".  

   I frowned at her as I absorb what she's telling me. I defiantly do not have anger issues, but that's not something I want to argue about right now. I shake my head at her, "No". She stops eating and looks back up at me again. "No?". I shake my head at her, "No....I don't accept that... Get mad at me, yell at me, do something". She stared at me for a few seconds then bursted out into laughter clutching her belly. I raise my brow at her and it makes her laugh harder. I sigh and shake my head as she tries to calm herself down. "I'm sorry but that is hilarious. No i'm not going to do any of that. Aaron I get it... You want to be punished so you can stop feeling guilty, but you don't have a reason to feel guilty. I promise you I am not mad, we're both going through shit right now and its normal to lash out. You're stressed, I'm not going to hold that against you".

   I push my food to the side as I lean back into the booth. "Alright....fine." I ask for the check, pay, and we leave. As we walk into the house Stella goes straight to the bedroom and undresses. I follow in shortly after and copy her. "We have to be at the church by 12, then we'll follow my moms car to cemetery for the burial." I nod as I climb in bed. "Do you want to talk about today? How are you feeling?". "I mean.. I feel fine, there's not really anything to talk about. I knew something like that was going to happen". I sighed as she slid into bed next to me. "You don't have to be so strong all the time" She smiled at me, "Awe do you care about me?". I shook my head at her and chuckled, "I thought I made that clear when I beat up your uncle and put you family in their place". 

   "Yeah...I guess you did". She rested her head on my chest and we laid still for a while just listening to each others breaths. "Aaron?", "Yes my love?". "Thank you for not leaving my side today". I kiss the top of her head, "Of corse my love, now lets get some sleep" She rolls off of me and I pull her back into my stomach. I hold her tight to me as we fall asleep.