Jaded heart

Slight scare

Gabriella pov 

Being summoned before I even wake up is a new one for me as I feel like I have only just put my head down on the pillow but lucky for me I have a week left of this damn tour and I can have my own bed under me before I know it but as I climb in the car that has summoned me I try to wake myself up before I am being told whats going on. I know fuck all and I hate not knowing anything  but I guess secrets are a reason why people don't trust easy, throwing my hair up not having the time to sort it out I make sure its out my face as there is only one reason why I was woken up before everyone else. I am sure I had an alarm set to wake me up. It doesn't take long before I am climbing out the vehicle and unsure what I am looking at 

"Landmine" I hear and I am struggling to keep a straight face as I am trying to cover a yarn that I didn't want to let out as everyone would look at me thinking I can't do my job and I can but a landmine isn't really a bomb. Looking around my surrounding we are just outside the base and I have only just notice a dog sniffing around, someone must have planted landmines around this area. 

Digging around the landmine I try to be careful not to disturb it anymore then the person is standing on it, I can tell they are shitting themselves more then normal but normally there is instructions to follow at the bottom on the landmine but with the pin hole, I just hope they haven't glued it, I am not sure if the instructions will still be there. As I am digging I am hoping its just a normal landmine and not one they have picked apart, I have only lost one person and that was early in my career as there was nothing I could have done, I still think about that person everyday when I am trying to understand bombs, the lad was a newbie and he had his whole life ahead of him, I feel like it was my fault but there was nothing I could have done. 

"Done, pinned it so remove your foot" I say watching the bomb feeling like I have to step away also as I do think I have done it but anything can be unreliable, it looked like it was glued in but it was the dirt around it that made it worse then it was and truthfully anyone could have done it and I wish someone did as I would have got my full sleep and now I am working today on limited sleep. You don't mess with a bomb expert sleep thats one of the things we need and when we have limited sleep anything could go wrong but today isn't that day. 

That is how my past few days of tour ended really sticking pins in landmines and removing them from around the base, it wasn't much fun but being on tour is never like that as its work and I put my work in this tour. I didn't have much time to myself to work out for anything and I wish I did as I need to jog to get everything off my mind or I start to overthink and I don't need to in this job. Watching the dog sniff around one more times I feel a small victory when they don't pick up on anything and I know my job is done, I can now go back to base and pack for my trip back home and await for more orders. 

I feel like this tour wasn't too bad as I thought it was going to be, I couldn't say I enjoyed it but I wasn't kicked to my arse because something distracted me so that was a bonus and I don't have a special force guy Donte up my arse watching my every move, I have no idea where he is right now but being here and not seeing him once I am happy about. I spent the months teaching Nepal about bombs and after they finally learned to disarm that one I have told them everything I know, the men was quite nice and understanding even though they could see I was getting frustrated with them but after some time everyone got it and they got it with all there fingers intact. The landmines wasn't a problem and now everyone can read the instructions when they dig around the thing, they just have to take there time and make sure they are being careful where they stand also. 

I am one of the last to leave and now I am heading home I feel even better I feel like I would happily come here again on tour as I kind of liked the place even though with everything going on I still liked the place, it isn't the worse place I have been or the best but no one tried to keep me hostage here or with the newbie medic that got me shot. I hope I think her name was Emma is ok and still serving as she's a good medic just a little green sometimes, I'm sure her working with Connor and his platoon she be fine as long as they stay out of trouble as hearing it wasn't the first time he wasn't held hostage didn't make me feel any better. Trying not to think back to that day I get my flight home and honestly I am excited I need a long ass shower and some proper food in my stomach. 

Being on the flight too the airport I am not too happy about getting a rejoining flight back home knowing I have to walk around the airport in my uniform, and sure I had a shower before i left and I am clean but I can still smell Nepal on me but I'm not sure if thats just me or what. I don't know how much time I will have to wait for my second flight but ill find out when I touch down, I could drive but i'm too tired to drive and a flight is a lot quicker. My flight straight home was cancelled and the only flight they had available was a lay over and I'm in no position to argue really. Looking out the window I can see the airport in the distance and I just cant wait to be home or on my ground, it feels like forever since I have touched the ground as I get ready I prepared for the touch down hoping this isn't going to be bumpy, I remember my last plane ride and I am sure my arse jumped out the seat at least once. 

Walking over to my second gate try to find my flight on the board but as I look at the time I glance at my watch and feel like I just want to collapse where I stand, I still have to wait at least two hours before boarding my second flight home and now I wish I could have left tour the same day as everyone else but with myself being a bomb expert I couldn't leave them to do it themselves really. Looking around a packed airport I take a seat by the windows on the floor having no problem where I sit as I just need to get off my feet really, after being on them all tour I feel like theres more muscle then there was before which I don't understand how as all I done was stand in one spot pretty much. Looking away from the window I bring my eyes back to the lounge area and I didn't see a little girl standing near me until she started to speak.

"Thank you for your service" smiling at the small girl I whisper a small thank you and looking around for anyone who's looking this way so I know where her parents are, I have no problem anyone coming up to me and thanking me but when I'm in the airport where its busy I feel a little more comfortable if the little girl had parents nearby. 

Waiting the two hours felt like waiting a life time and I couldn't do this again, I could wait forever but when I am going home I don't know, I just couldn't wait any longer I wanted on the plane and a shower. Lining up to board the plane I get excited knowing I'll be home before I know it but I don't show any emotion, all my emotions are on the inside knowing there isn't anyone at home waiting for me, probably why I am never home. Handling my boarding pass to the women she gives me a warm smile before letting me walk pass her and I know her smile was forced as a lot of people are a little uncomfable when it comes to the uniform and I understand, its nothing against me and I know it. Taking my seat I am now one more step closer to a warm shower and some proper food.