Infinite | ✔️

6 | six

WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

I wake up a few hours later, still lying on the floor of my living room. I look out the window to see it's nighttime. I check the time on the clock hanging above the TV and notice it's 1 am.

I struggle getting up due to all of the punch's my body endured.

Once I've got up, I walk to the foyer and to the shoe rack. I slip on my shoes and tie the laces. I look around the house to make sure my father isn't here. And of course he isn't.

On some days of the week, my father goes out to Red Bar. He doesn't come home till late in the afternoon. He goes there and gets drunk and when he comes home he starts yelling at me and beats me to the point where I pass out. A few months ago, he went to Red Bar and came home and beat me. After he beat me, I went into my bathroom and put cuts on my arm. I woke up in a hospital and found out my neighbor was visiting and my dad had let her in. She found me in my bathroom because she was gonna give me a present. My life is pretty fucked up.

I slip out of my house and head down the sidewalk. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going but I think I'm just going to go for a walk and clear my head. I breathe in the fresh air and look around at all of the nature. I've always admired nature. I never knew why it was so fascinating to me when I was younger. I would spend hours outside to just look at flowers and trees and plants until my father had to come get me for dinner. I like to look at random flowers when I get the chance. This was before my life changed.

I don't know why it started. I guess he was getting tired of all of my antics and just started randomly. I would like to know one day but my question is most likely never going to be answered.

I sigh and realize I'm in a park. There's a swing set and slides. There's a tall tree next to a bench so the trees branches and leaves gives it shade. I walk to the swing set and sit down. I slowly swing myself forward and backward.

I look up at the sky. I see the moon and billions of stars. The sky is a beautiful dark blue. A shooting star goes across the sky and I close my eyes to make a wish. I start to cry. I cry about anything and everything.

I don't notice the footsteps and someone sitting beside me in the other swing until I open my eyes to look.

It's Leo and he's also looking up at the sky. I quickly wipe the tears under my eyes so he doesn't notice I was crying.

Leo raises his hand and points to some stars in the sky, "There's the Big Dipper." He softly says.

I look to where he's pointing and I see stars conjoined to make a shape of a dipper. I look back at Leo to find he's already looking at me.

We stare at each other for a what feels like hours but in reality is only a few seconds.

"Why're you out here, love?" He questions.

I sigh and say, "I just needed to clear my head and get away from everything for awhile."

He narrows his eyes at me. Uhm, why is he looking at me like that?

"Have you been crying?" He asks kind of angrily?

I clear my throat, "N-no."

"Eleanor." Leo says sternly.

I look down at my fingers and play with my thumbs, "I have been crying." I state

"Why were you crying?"

I look back up at the sky and look at all of the beautiful stars. "Because of everything in my life. My life is so messed up. My mother left me and my father when I was younger. She never returned." I laugh dryly, "My father is always getting drunk. He doesn't take care of me. I take care of myself and I try to do the same to him. My dad was always so happy when he was with my mom. He would look at her like she was everything to him. Sometimes I'd catch them dancing together to a slow song or simply dancing. My mom had blue eyes and when I was born, my dad told me he was so happy I had my mothers eyes. I loved my parents. But that little fantasy ended years ago when I was trying to stop her when she was packing her clothes but I was so young. I couldn't do anything. I never understood why she left. They were so happy. And it's all my fault."

I didn't notice I was crying again until Leo reaches up and wipes the tears from my eyes. He stares into my eyes and leans forward.

Is he about to kiss me?

What I didn't expect was for him to kiss each tear away until they all stopped.

He then kissed my forehead softly and leaned his forehead on mine, he then whispered, "You can't control everything in life. Not everyone and everything is meant to be. Things come to an end, people come to an end. You couldn't control her leaving, you couldn't stop her. You were so young. There was nothing you could do so stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault she left. She made that decision. So please, stop saying it's your fault, my love."

Once he was finished, I stared deeply into his eyes and he did the same. "Thank you, Leo." I pulled back and kissed his forehead like how he did to mine. I see him close his eyes at my action and his breath hitch.

He opened his eyes again and softly smiled at me. "Così bella." He whispered more to himself than me.
Translation: So beautiful

I look at him, confused. He just shakes his head and chuckles slightly. We go back to looking at the stars in the sky. We take turns naming constellations. I never knew having someone like Leo could feel so amazing. Even though we just met, I already feel like I've known him forever. We continue naming constellations and laughing at jokes we say to each other. I want every day to be like this one.