HYYH Notes 1

Shadow Of My Childhood

July 23 Hoseok Year 10

It all happened when I counted to four. I was counting some fruit, maybe tomatoes or melons. I'm not sure. "Four." As soon as I said it, a vision from my childhood appeared before my eyes. I was holding hands with someone. 

It was the day I  first went to an amusement park with Mom. I was mesmerized by the colourful flags and rows of shops. People dressed like clowns waved at me, and exciting music reverberated in every corner. Mom stopped in front of a merry-go-round. White horses were going round and round under sparkling lights. I was about to ask, "Mom, are we here to to ride this?" when someone called me. "Hoseok." I looked up. 

It was my teacher. My classmates were all looking at me with bewildered eyes. the vision from my childhood disappeared. My teacher urged me to continue, and I began counting again. Five. Six. Mom appeared before my eyes again. She looked exactly the same as a minute ago. Her face was shaded as she was standing in front of the light, and a breeze fanned her hair. Mom handed me a chocolate bar. "Hoseok, close your eyes tight and don't open them until you count to ten."

Seven. Eight. Nine. I stopped there. My teacher made a gesutre signalling me to go on. My classmates stared at me again. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. Mom's face blurred. It felt as if she would never come looking for me if I finished counting to ten. I fell to the ground. 

December 29 Taehyung Year 10

I flung off my shoes, hurled my bag on the floor, and ran into the room. Dad was really home. I had no time to think how long he'd been gone and where he was coming from. I just threw myself into his arms. It became all blurry from that point. I wasn't sure whether I smelled liquor on his breath first, heard him cursing first, or got slapped on my face first. I didn't know what was happening. His alcohol breath was repulsive and his breathing was hard. His eyes were bloodshot. He had a scruffed beard. A massive hand slapped my face. "What are you looking at?" He slapped me again. Dad grabbed me by my shoulders and picked me up. I was almost face to face with him. Bloodshot eyes and scruffy beard. He wasn't my dad. Well, he was. But he wasn't. My feet dangled in the air. I was so frightened that I couldn't even cry. The next moment, my head hit the wall hard and I crumpled to the floor. It felt as if my head had been cracked. I could hardly see straight. It became pitch black. 

April 6 Jimin Year 11

I went out the front gate of the Grass Flower Arboretum alone. The sky was cloudy and it was a little chilly. But I was feeling good. It was school picnic day, and as usual, my parents were too busy to make it. This brought me down. But I received high evaluations in the flower drawing contest, and my friends' mothers all told me, "You're so mature and gentle." I thought I was pretty cool. 

"Jimin, wait here. It'll just be a minute," my teacher said after the picnic was over and we got ready to leave the arboretum. I didn't wait. I knew I could find the way on my own. I held onto the straps of my backpack with both hands and took confident steps. Everyone seemed to be staring at me, so I kept my shoulders back. After walking for a while, it began to rain. My classmates and their mothers had all left, and no one piad attention to me. My legs hurt. I crouched under a tree. The rain began to pour down more and more steadily. I stretched my neck to check if anyone was coming from either side, but no one was around. 

I began to run, holding my backpack over my head with both hands. The rain kept falling harder and harder. My pants got soaked in the rain after only a few steps. No shop, house or bus stop came into sight. In the far distance, I could seea  gate. I ran towards it without thinking. My hands felt numb from gripping the backpack. I was soaking wet, and my teeth were chattering. On top of the gate was a sign that read Grass Flower Arboretum. It was the back gate. There was a small warehouse just inside the gate.