𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐞- 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫

19.

I never thought about how I would die. Possibly natural causes like old age or some sort of illness. I didn't picture falling through a clock tower witnessing a Green Goblin attacking my boyfriend then next thing I knew I never woke up again. Not even when I first met Peter Parker and found out he was Spiderman did I ever think of this outcome.

I would imagine how my parents would feel. When my dad died I imagined my mom feeling this way towards me whenever I gave out. It hurt so bad I didn't want to move for days. I'd never know. Worst of all, I couldn't comfort Peter or hold him close to me.

My dreams were thrown in the trash. My dreams of going to college, meeting new people, becoming a forensic scientist, getting married, having kids, going on vacations, Christmas parties every year and forcing Peter to wear ugly Christmas sweaters with the kids and I. It was gone. Swept underneath me for Peter to live out himself.

I never got to legally drink or sneak into college parties with my friends. I never got to hear my own children's laughter or introduce them to my mother. Or read all the books on my tbr list I've spent endless nights debating about.

But I chose this life. I chose the drama, the danger, the excitement, and adrenaline rush. I chose to be there that night and I don't regret it one bit. I knew Peter would drown himself in sorrows questioning himself over and over why he would let me stay. I didn't expect for it to turn out this way. Nothing was set in stone.

🕸︎ 🕸︎

It crushed him from the inside out as they slowly lowered her coffin into the ground. Her mom wept and Steve was there to comfort her. Serena was bowling her eyes out, apologizing profoundly to Ms. Jennings, Steve, and even Peter. Everyone was there including Gwen Stacy who was leaving for England the next day.

Ms. Jennings said nothing to Peter. Steve glared at him from across the way. Peter couldn't look them in the eyes and for a moment he thought they might kill him right then and there. He thought he deserved it though. He wanted to apologize, but he knew it would do nothing.

Peter stood there for hours, apologizing to her grave for getting her involved. For encouraging their relationship even though he knew what it entitled for them. He left no trace of himself there except for the tears that trickled down his cheek and onto her grave.

He visited her everyday every month that passed by. He would bring her hot chocolate he would have to throw out because there was no one sitting opposite of him to finish it.

After he would drag himself back home and lay in his bed. He shoved his suit in the closet and ignored the news consisting of the curious citizens wondering where Spiderman had gone.

The doorbell rang, but Peter ignored it. Seconds later Aunt May was shouting at him to come down. He did, trudging down the steps. Serena was standing on the other side with a box in her hands.

"I'm leaving for college tomorrow. I'm going to California." She cracked the best smile she could.

Peter nodded his congratulations though he couldn't help but remember Makayla complaining about her mother wanting to move there.

"Ms. Jennings gave me the okay to check out Makayla's small belongings before they move. I was looking through her things and gathered some stuff I think she'd like you to have." She handed him a box.

"Thank you." He mumbled.

She smiled weakly before turning and leaving. He shut the door and carried the box up to his room where he pulled out several of her belongings.

One of them was a drawing. Peter took it, studying the chocolate house Makayla drew when she was 8. He wished he wasn't so upset with himself the day they were raving about how funny this memory was for them. He ran his finger along her signature that read M.J. at the bottom.