My Idol. (NAMKOOK)

Aftermath.

Namjoon's Pov.

The normally chaotic and noisy house was eerily silent after what occurred early this morning. It was tense and somber without the jittery energy of Jimin, Jin and Taehyung after they followed Jungkook out of the house when he literally ran away from me this morning. 'God, this is so fucked up,' I sighed, rubbing at my throbbing temples. Now that hours have passed and there was nothing else to do but ponder my actions, I couldn't help but wonder if I handled the situation as delicately as possible. I sat at the kitchen table and drummed my fingers on the smooth cool surface and thought over my reaction to all that had happened this morning.

'I mean, I have a right to be shocked but damn. He looked so terrified... and heartbroken after.' I gnawed my bottom lip, teeth lightly sinking into the pink tissue as I checked the softly ticking clock on the wall to mark another hour since he's been gone. It's going on 8pm and there still has been no word or update about Jungkook or the others. 'Could something have happened? Did they get kidnapped? robbed? Hit by a biking pedestrian?!! What the hell is keeping them away from checking in?!' I worried, fighting back the urge to get up and pace the kitchen and held it in, taking multiple deep breaths until the sound of the elevator pinging snagged my attention.

'He's back!' I perked up, sitting up straight in my chair at the dining table and peered into the foyer. My heart was pounding in my chest as I waited for him to step out of the foyer and into the living space, wondering if he would look me in the eyes or not. 'Please, tell me nothing's changed... please...' I prayed as Jungkook finally stepped into view. He stood small and quiet behind Jin's broad frame, practically hiding from me but I refused to look away. I held my breath and willed him to meet my eyes but he never did. He remained silent as he lowered his head and avoided my eyes, sticking close to Jin to hide within his shadow. An aching part of me wanted to waltz on over there and soothe his pain but the other side is telling me that it wouldn't be welcomed. My heart twisted as I continued to look on in sadness, barely noting Jin's sympathetic look towards me before he turned and addressed our silent maknae.

"Jungkook-ah," His voice was soft as he spoke to the boy. "Go on and sit in my room. We'll meet you there shortly." Jungkook kept his head low as he nodded and turned to walk to Jin and Jhope's room without even glancing up a single time. When his footsteps faded and the sound of a door being closed, I turned to the others in dire need of answers.

"I know this is a stupid question but
..... How is he? " I asked nervously, fidgeting with my phone case.

Jimin, who was heavily leaning against Taehyung, heaved the world's heaviest sigh and that was all I needed to know. 'Dammit, it must be bad if Jimin is like this,' I silently agonized, gnawing even harder on my lip until I tasted a hint of copper on my tongue. I was seconds away from spiraling but Yoongi, who came up from behind me, placed a reassuring hand on my back and that kept me grounded. It was one of those rare cases of outward affection the tsundere shows when the situation called for it and I was thankful for it as it centered me in the present again.

When everything went down this morning, Suga and Hoseok stayed behind and tried their best to make me feel better about all of this. They stopped me from running after him when our emotions were too high and calmed me down from a mental crisis. They did their best to pull my attention from the ever ticking clock but ultimately let me stew in silence while reminding me to not blame myself. Much like how Yoongi was doing right now.

"It's not your fault, Namjoon." He pats my back. "It would have hurt him more if you dated him out of pity."

"I don't know, hyung. Maybe I should have tried." I sighed, placing my head in my hands.