Love.

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I was getting bored. I asked the nurse if i could leave and she told me yes but to take care of myself. I slowly got out of the bed and headed down to my house. Once i got there i lay in bed. I was feeling better but i wasn't fully healed. I was astonished to find myself tearing up. Crying? Why was i crying? I found myself grabbing a tissue from my pocket and wiping my tears. From the amount of pain i had endured to the feeling of loneliness, it caused me to break down. I was not prepared as to what happened next however. When Jacob came through my window and walked over to my bed. He placed a kiss on my forehead and with his left hand, stroked my hair gently. He then looked at me with this glisten in his eyes. Smiled. Then with his other hand, grabbed my shirt and closed the distance between us. I Was quite shocked but i didn't put up a fight. I let him place his lips on mine. He pulled away and whispered in my ear.
"I know myself James. I know who i am."
"You do?"
"very much so"
"Who is that may i ask?"
"A man who fell in love with James Smith."
"I'm impressed. Roth did all that?"
"Don't push it."
"Sorry"
"Don't be, come here." He lifted his right hand from my shirt and stroked my cheek. His touch made my heart beat fast. He started kissing my neck, gently, before kissing it more passionately leaving bruised behind. My breathing became heavier. He pulled away to look at my face. He smirked. "J...Jacob.."
"Yeah?"
"What happened to Maxwell Roth? Did you kill him?"
"No. I cared about him too much. I couldn't do it."
"So you love him too?"
"There is a place in my heart for the both of you.."
"Oh i see" I didn't know what he meant by that but it was warming.
"How will that work?" I asked him. Roth wasn't a fan of me.
"Just forget it James." He seemed to be getting irritated. I didn't want to anger him so i dropped the subject by grabbing his shirt and once again closing the distance between us. Then his hand found my belt and he slowly undid it before throwing it onto the floor. It didn't take long until we had pulled each others clothes off and were lying naked with each other in the bed. We stared at each other's bodies in awe. Our clothes in a heap on the floor. We made love for what felt like hours. The feeling between us as we had sex didn't have the usual spark. We were slow and passionate although we both felt a feeling of emptiness inside us. Eventually we stopped and he got off me and layed  next to me on the bed. He sat up and shuffled to the end of the bed. I put my arms behind my head and stared at his back. We were silent. My thoughts rushed around my head. I didn't want to get in the way anymore. It didn't feel right. He seemed to love Roth more and i didn't want to be in the way. I was always in the way. I crawled over to him and kissed the back of his neck. Tears formed in my eyes and he felt the water trickling down his back. "Darling what's wrong?" He asked me in a gentle tone as he put his hand on my back to touch mine. I wrapped my arms around his back and softly touched his hair. How do i reply to that?
"Jacob. Listen. I, i don't want to get in the way anymore"
"James you can't, you never did. Why do you think that?"
"Don't lie to me, i know you love Roth. Don't let me stand in the way any more."
"James no. Don't you dare say that." He turned his body round to face me.
"Please Jacob." Now he had tears in his eyes. He was loosing his voice.
"James. Stop. Roth and i, we are nothing. Please believe me."
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you aren't in love with him"
"James i-"
"Do it." I knew he wouldn't. His eyes gazed towards my window. I could see the water glistening in the sunset.
"There. Told you." I replied after a moment. "You can not do it."
"James please i love y-"
"But not as much as you love him." I said, cutting him off. He didn't reply, he just stared at me for a while. He didn't know what to say. He turned his back to me. He stared out the window to the right. Moments of silence passed us.

I wanted him gone so i could get rid of myself. But i didn't want to hurt him. If i did that he would be angry at Roth. I didn't want this either. I wanted to speak to Roth. How could i do this? Jacob wouldn't leave now. "Jacob."
"What?"
"Where is Roth now?"
"Why would i tell you that?"
"i need to speak to him"
"What are you going to kill him yourself?"
"NO! Jacob i wouldn't do such a thing. I haven't killed anyone in my life and i'm not planning on doing so. Believe me." Jacob just sat there avoiding eye contact. He was thinking about Roth.
"You are thinking about him aren't you?" I told him. He didn't argue or deny the statement he simply said
"I remember the first time i met him. He sent me a letter, inviting me to his show. At the Alhambra Music Hall." He stopped, whiped his tears and continued. "I knew he was a Templar, at least we thought. And I knew Evie would tell me not to go. But i wanted to. So badly." He stopped again, this time standing up and walking over to the window. I watched him. "The moment we made eye contact i.. he was so charming. So sarcastic. Like me.." He chuckled to himself before realising now wasn't the time and stopped. I spoke gently to him "No go on, laugh it's ok." I wasn't angry. I meant it. He didn't laugh. Just continued.
"He told me how much he hated Starrick and he and i blew up some of his supplies that day. After that i kept going to see him and we kept doing things against Starrick. I found myself getting closer to him. Like a magnetic force. Don't you see?" He turned around to face me.
"I am a MONSTER! I deserve to DIE not YOU!" I didn't expect that at all but i got out of bed and rushed over to him. Grabbing him into a hug. I reassured him. "No. Listen Jacob that is not true. You are not a monster." He didn't seem to listen. Just continued speaking through tears.
"I kept seeing him. Hiding it from Evie and then one time our lips touched. I spent so many hours with him. One day i stayed a whole night with him. Evie was getting suspicious but she didn't find out. This happened after the fire. All the time you were sat here thinking i hated you! I AM A MONSTER! He blew up a building with kids in it and i tried to stop him but he wasn't happy. That's why he set fire to the Alhambra Hall. Because he was ANGRY AT ME!" He cried more and i rubbed his back.

He really blamed himself for everything. "After the fire at the Hall.." he began "He promised he would change, for me. And he did. But he found out that you liked him and he wasn't happy. That's why that time you woke up with him on top of you. Because he was jealous. He wanted you dead out of jealously."
"I can finish the job."
"NO! I'm not loosing you nor him. I couldn't live with myself if either of you died"
"I meant me, not him Jacob. I wouldn't kill him."
"THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT BETTER!" he screamed and threw me off of him. My back landed on the hard floor and i winced. He turned around and cursed under his breath. He rushed over and helped me up. "God i'm so sorry" He said. I didn't know what to do or say. Jacob had changed so much.
"Listen, let me talk to Roth. He won't hurt me."
"HE MIGHT!" Jacob said uncertainty rising in his voice. I didn't listen to him.
"Jacob tell me where he is and i can have a word. Please."
"He's.. in a house.. not far from here." Jacob told me the location. I told him to stay here while i visited him. Jacob didn't look so happy with what i was doing but i insisted and he was too tired to argue. I put my clothes back on and headed towards the front door.

It was dark and rainy when i got there. I knocked on the door. Roth opened it, smiling. Perhaps he was expecting Jacob. But when he saw me his smile faded.
"What do you want?" He said in a grim tone.
"A word?" I said. Remaining calm. I walked into his room. It was quite something i'll tell you that. I walked over to the window and leant against it. I was looking him straight in the eye. "Listen" I began to say "I know you are in love with Jacob Frye"
"You know nothing."
"You were in my house, on top of me holding a knife to my neck shouting that you loved that man. Don't tell me i am stupid." Roth was taken back. Then he turned around facing away from me.
"Now look. I had something to drink that day. I said some things that i shouldn't have. Forget it."
"No i will not."
"WHY ARE YOU HER-"
"Jacob is in love with you." I cut him off. His anger disappeared. He stared at me astonished.
"Jacob Frye is in love with you Maxwell Roth. And he wants you"
"Why are you telling me this? I thought you were obsessed over the man."
"You can talk."
"This isn't about me."
"Oh but it is. I don't want to get in the way anymore. He says he loves me but listen. If you can keep him out of trouble, if you can promise to behave. Then i can assure you that i won't be near him any longer"
"What are you going to do?" He laughed. "Kill yourself?"
"I thought about it." He wasn't expecting me to say that and his facial expression changed to sorrow.
"But it wouldn't be fair on you or Jacob."
"Me? How so?"
"He would hate you"
"How can you be so sure young boy."
"Because he cares for us both. I know this."
"So?"
"He will not speak to you again and you will be hurt. Even though he is a assassin and you are a Templar, you are good for each other"
"Sir, please stop." He said. My words were impacting his heart. I carried on.
"You will both receive challenges. Know that. But i know that you bring happiness to Jacob, and he the same for you." His eyes began to fill with tears.
"Stop this. I will not listen. I do not care."
"You do, Roth. You are an evil man. But you do care. So you go find him and you love him. I'm moving away from here so he doesn't see me again. I will not be dead and i will write to him but i will go off to make a better life for myself. Please look after him."
"I shall send your regards. Thank you." He said. I thought he would come and hug me with that gentle look in his eyes. But he returned to his cold self and said i ought to leave. I did as i was told. Now i was to get back to Jacob and collect my stuff. It would be hard leaving, but it was for the best.

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