The Milk Man Rabbit Hole

"You may come in, '' Boyd Cooper '' Hollis Foresythe stated calmly, watching as the stuttering mess of a man shuffled into the room. This, hopefully, was going to be a simple interrogation, just some gentle coaxing for informational purposes. Then she could pass it on to someone who would be interested in uncovering the mysteries and mistakes of Thorny Towers while she worked on Maligula.

"Hello uh- Hello miss Fore- Yes! Hello miss-" Boyd tried to greet her, stumbling over his words as he stumbled over his feet. Even after his.. Liberation at Thorny Towers, his eternally nervous and paranatic persona failed to fade into the shadows as intended. Hollis heard it was a core part of his personality, and perhaps psyche.

"Mhm.. Mr Cooper." She stated in a matter of fact, with an underlying comforting tone. Attempting to get him to relax, even just for the time he was expected to be in her office for. "Now, if you don't mind of course, I'll be asking some questions that relate to the... Incident with Camp Whispering Rock, and Thorny Towers. Both of which have been suspended and are under vigorous investigation." Hollis studied Boyd's facial expressions, and noted that he recognized both names, shivering at the latter.

"Oh yes yes that's fine. That's it.. Yes that's alright um.." Boyd replied(?) to Hollis' statement. Nodding her head, Hollis propped a seat for the both of them. Her behind her desk as always, and him in front. "Now.. Let's start with something basic-" Hollis started, but was interrupted by Boyd. "OKAY OKAY I DID IT IBURNTDOWNTHETOWERIADMITTOTHEARSONCRIME." He essentially blurted out that.. Crucial yet unnecessary information.

"O...Kay..." Hollis slowly processed what the man had just said.. So he was the one who burnt down the tower.. "Alright.. Care to explain why?" She asked Cooper with an raised eyebrow, ignorant of the incomprehensible rant that occurred seconds later.

"SoIwastaskedwithgarudingthetowerbythisguyandsoIdidforlikealotuntillthiskidcameuptomeandaskedmetoopenwhichIdidn'thavethekey- (Wait but I did have the key) doesn't matter so essentially I wasn't gonna let this kid in-" Hollis barely understood half of what the man was feverishly muttering about. "Wait- Wait wait wait pause.. You were a guard for thorny towers, correct?"

"Correct."

"And who exactly was this kid asking to go in?" Boyd spoke slower this time. "I DUNNO! It's so weird a kid would ask to go in but then again I didn't have the key so I couldn't. And then he had this door thing and put it on my head and then suddenly- THAT'S IT! I KNEW IT HE WAS WORKING WITH THEM THE WHOLE TIME!"

To think Hollis was puzzled, was the national awarded understatement of the year. The man's face lit up like a fully decorated Christmas tree with presents and all plugged into a wall. "IT IS! THAT KID? WHAT'S HIS NAME RASS OR SOMETHING?? HE WAS WORKING WITH THOSE RAINBOW SQUIRTS TO HIDE THE MILKMAN-"

"Woah woah woah wait who-" Hollis, completely lost, attempted to understand what the man was talking about. Rass? Did he mean Raz? As in Rasputin Aquato? And who were these so-called rainbow squirts and what did Aquato have to do with them? Were they involved with the recent incident?

"ᵧₑₛ...Yes... YES... I'VE FIGURED IT OUT! IT WAS HIM! IT WAS HIM ALL ALONG!.. A DOUBLE AGENT YES! And uh- He was with them from the start, protecting the milkman for his eventual return.. YES he has something to do with it I know he does." Boyd frantically waved his arms in a scribbling manner. As if he was writing with an invisible pencil.

This.. It was absurd logic at best. What was he even talking about??? "May you please elaborate upon this.. Theory of yours?" The man looked like he was in the midst of a manic episode. She was tempted to see him out and have him up for psychological evaluation. Perhaps that could be put on hold, seeing what relationship he has with Rasputin might be more important at the moment.

"You don't understand, you CANNOT understand. It's him and the work of the milkman. Do you know him? Of course you- ARE YOU INVOLVED AS WELL??" Boyd spiraled further and further down the messy, personal rabbit hole he shoveled for himself.

It took a total of 20 full minutes to verbally sedate and reason with the clearly conspiracy driven 'guard' as he called himself. Honestly, Hollis couldn't verify whether or not he WAS a guard, or an acting one of Thorny Towers. Reluctantly, as it was the only way to keep him compliant, she called for "Rasputin Aquato to report to Agent Foresythe's office immediately." and in a couple moment, she could hear the bouncing of an levitation ball followed by chunky, offbeat footsteps.

"Madam Second Head Foresythe?" the intern asked, nervous about his abrupt call to her office. "Yes.. Rasputin Aquato. Sit." Hollis ordered. Raz got a good look at the room, and with the accusatory glares that Boyd gave, well, he was in so much trouble. Maybe he never should've invaded his mind and released that 'milkman' guy or whoever he's called.

"You! You You YOU! How did you find the milkman?!" Raz was caught off guard. The milkman? The creepy alter persona? He only followed the telephone line and.. Oh hammercy.. The idea popped into his head like popcorn in a microwave. He had to do it. For the meme. He knew he was feeding into the man's paranoia, but it was going to be so worth it.

Razputian placed one hand over his head, and the other behind his back, putting on a monotone facade, he repeated the very words he had heard the rainbow squirts chant before. "The Rainbow Squirt Pledge of Purpose is to promote niceness. To make the world prettier. To share candy with everyone. To obfuscate the true nature of the Milkman. To protect the Milkman at all costs. To destroy all who would harm the Milkman, or threaten to reveal his secret objective." Raz tried his best to imitate the vocal and body language of the creepy girls he found inside of Boyd's mind.

Boyd was stunned, and Hollis was concerned. She had likely just dug another hole of conspiracy, one of which revolved around some 'Rainbow Squirt' group affiliated with this mysterious milk man, and these two were at the center of it all, opposing each other's objective and side. She snapped out of her trance when she saw Boyd crumble to the ground, much to Aquato's and Hollis's surprise. "NO...no..ₙₒ... ᵢₜ ꜀ₐₙₙₒₜ ₆ₑ..." He whispered to himself, completely defeated.

"Aquato. I believe you owe us an explanation." This was going to be a long week.