femboy ~ seungjin

fifty eight.

minminho: hi

sunhan: hi

minminho: where do u wanna meet up?

sunhan: idk

sunhan: the park maybe?

minminho: alright then

;

minho sighed as he approached the park. his heart was thumping inside his chest, he was nervous.

once he was in front of the gate, he spotted jisung sat on the infamous swing,

how deja vu.

cautiously, he approached the seemingly anxious boy, who was lightly swinging on the swing set. he cleared his throat once sitting on the second pair, snapping out jisung from his daze.

"hey." he called out, barely looking at the boy, he was too nervous to do so.

"h-hi minho." jisung tried to smile but failed terribly to do so, frowning at himself in the process which caused minho to let out a soft laugh.

"you looked ridiculous doing that..." he mumbled. jisung finally managed to smile at him.
"i don't know what happened with that smile earlier, dont mind it..." he replied.
"but anyways...i-i don't really know what to say- im sorry.." jisung confessed. he felt confused and miserable. he couldn't comprehend his thoughts and how it brought him to that terrible conclusion...how was he even supposed to explain himself to minho?

"let me t-think for a minute please i just need to..."

"think."

"y-yeah..." he huffed and placed his face into his hands, man he was fucked.

"jisung...we don't have to do this today you know?" minho spoke up after a few long seconds.

"no please i just-"

"if you're going to tell me something tell me now because you're wasting my time, sung! maybe its better this way-."

"no!" jisung yelled. he couldn't let minho leave. so he finally pulled himself together and managed to think of a way to merge his deranged thoughts and feelings into words.

"i'm not the best at explaining my feelings and i know i don't deserve even a minute of your time for my shit explanation but whatever. so as you know...i accused you of c-cheating on me without any concrete evidence and by blindly believing chan's words. h-he showed me a video of you..at a café getting really close with that one girl from the party and i-i.. i just immediately thought the worst because- at that time you were being distant but thats besides the point. the thing is minho...i thought the worst because i knew how things like this go...i believed chan because when i didn't before, it hurt me too much. i took his words to heart because i didn't want to repeat my past mistakes and i'm terribly sorry for thinking of you like that..i now know you'd never do that to me but can you really blame me? that time at the party when we kissed but then you went to kiss that same girl from the video...my negative thoughts just grew too strong and i... i didn't want to be naive and get fucked over again. i'm so sorry, min." jisung told him. he had a few silent tears roll down his cheeks in the process of it all.

minho felt overwhelmed, he never looked at the bigger picture. minho was aware of jisung's cruel ex boyfriend he dated when he was 16, and how much it pained him.

of course he was still hurt by jisung's thinking and actions towards him, but really, how could he blame him?

minho's past had the right to cause so many doubts about his loyalty. he used to be a player.

jisung had the right to doubt him, honestly if he was in the same position he would have reacted the same way.

"i...don't really know what to say ji... im also sorry." minho spoke up after a few minutes of silence.

"it's okay, you don't really have to say anything..." jisung started swinging the swing again, the creaky sound filling the park.

"this swing should be taken down..."

"honestly." and they both let out soft melodic giggles at their words.

"i don't regret believing chan...though it brought me pain, realization, and understanding...it built me for the better. all i regret is hurting you. i love you so much and i don't think i deserve your forgiveness..." the younger told him. minho sighed in content,

"i understand you, sung. and i understand why you acted so impulsively. i just wish i realized it sooner. this whole situation is stupid and got blown out of proportion."

"i'd say we're both idiots but that would be selfish since technically im the only idiot in this situation." the squirrel like boy tried to crack a joke.

"i think we should put it all behind us...don't you think?"

"definitely!"

"let's take thing's slow...once again?" minho asked with a smile, these words were familiar to the both of them.

"of course. let's try to understand and love  each other even better, min."

~tbc

i dont like this chapter but whatever

and hi its 3am!! hope you guys enjoyed this!!

first update of 2022! hope i can keep it up 😓😓

hope u enjoyed!!