I thought I got rid of Darryl, I thought he went away. All I want is to escape him. I thought I'd done it... but this is when his counterpart appeared - she named herself Vicky. She stalked me for months on end.
I am petrified.
She showed up at the funeral for my children that took place once I left the psych ward. The police sent me there: they claimed I was schizophrenic when I told them about the stalking of Darryl. I am traumatised and I do believe this is really happening to me.
Vicky has no shame, she wears no lower half and flings her flaps around until they clap. She nibbles on my bones and passionately licks my skin. I am doomed... until one day, my saviour appears.
Uncle Ian was scared, but he'd finally risen up. He built an army of hex bugs and unleashed them onto Vicky. He came wielding a water pistol and destroyed her. Finally, I can stop amalgamating my nostrils, I've finally been left in peace. I asked him to do a celebratory line of coke with me and we all rejoiced, forgetting briefly that Darryl was still out there.
We got Vicky, so he must be thirsty for our blood. And our teeth.
