No Kissing Allowed

Chapter 1: The Frogless Princess

Chapter 1: The Frogless Princess

Cora stood in front of the camera, unsure what to do with her hands, and questioning every life choice that had led her to this juncture. A faceless television producer addressed her through a speaker. "Tell us more about yourself, Cora. What are you looking for in a man?"

Cora pressed her lips together to swallow the nervous laugh threatening to escape. Of all the questions they could have asked her. How had she ended up in the single most absurd place on Earth in which to find herself: a 27-year-old modern-day spinster, auditioning for a TV dating show?

Life was dictated by nothing more than choices, she reminded herself sternly. Choices and their consequences, with a heavy pinch of random chance. In this case, she had chosen to say "yes" to whatever the universe sent her way. That was her choice. This was where it got her. Nothing more and nothing less.

At the moment, she was having trouble believing the universe was not a sentient being. A malevolent old crone with a warped sense of humor, who had taken Cora's vow of openness as a hilarious cosmic joke. Or perhaps an evil genie inside a lamp, awaiting yesses instead of wishes to unleash his chaos on the world.

Yes, and yes, and yes.

Three yesses. That was all it took.

The first "yes" had been uttered two hours ago, with passport in hand at the Air France check-in desk. Flight 1684 to Bora Bora was overbooked. Would she be interested in a hotel voucher and an upgrade to first class, if she was willing to let them bump her to tomorrow?

"Yes," Cora had said. "First class sounds fabulous. Why not?"

A flight delay wasn't exactly what Cora had in mind when she'd explained her new life philosophy at her bon voyage party last weekend. Maybe she should have listened to her friends. Most of them had laughed, and Lauren had made one of her usual sarcastic retorts: "OK Miss Positivity, who are you and what have you done with the real Cora Glass?" But Penny had shushed them all. "I think it's great," Penny had said with a protective arm around Cora's shoulders. "You never know what you might miss out on if you aren't willing to take a risk now and then."

So far, Cora's willingness to take a risk had landed her in front of a TV camera, talking about a non-existent man she didn't want to meet.

The speaker squawked at her again with the producer's impatient voice. "Cora? Did you hear me?"

"Yeah, sorry!" Cora called.

"You don't have to shout. Speak in a normal tone. The boom mic will pick it up."

"Right. Sorry!" This time she answered in a stage whisper. "What was the question again?"

"What are you looking for in a man?"

"Absolutely nothing," Cora muttered under her breath. A hotel reservation for one would be waiting at the end of her first class flight to Bora Bora in the morning.

With Cora's first "yes" thus bestowed upon the Air France ticketing system, she'd spent the next hour strolling the airport concourse, playing a game she called "spot the newlyweds," straight from their fairytale weddings and jetting off to their happily-ever-afters. Once upon a time, the sight would have filled Cora with envy. But she'd long since made the decision to live happily ever after on her own.

Cora's Kindle might be loaded up with old-fashioned regency romance novels, but there was only one fairytale that felt the least bit relatable to her real life: The Frog Prince. Only this princess didn't turn frogs into princes. She did the opposite. Any prince she kissed would eventually revert to amphibian form. Slimy. Gross. Ew. And any trace of love she might have felt would fade from desire to indifference, from indifference to repulsion.