Life doesn't give second chances

Supportive friends

Chris is sitting on a bench in the locker room. She's lost in her thoughts, staring into the void. She keeps replaying the conversation she had with Street a few weeks earlier, at Luca's.

"I can't keep doing this weird half-relationship thing we're doing. You burrow into my head, into my heart, but I can't touch you, I can't kiss you...I can't keep doing whatever this is... I can't."

She just stood there, unable to react, to tell James Street, her colleague and teammate, as well as her best friend for 5 years, what her feelings really were. By now she thought it was clear, especially after returning from Germany, when she confessed to him that although they still didn't have a solution to their problem, he was the person she couldn't do without.
And now, from a stupid mental block, she is in danger of losing him. Again.

As this whirlwind of thoughts is buzzing in her head, Luca, who stopped at the HQ for extra training, walks through the door behind her.

"Hey Chris, what are you still doing here? Go home, tomorrow is a big day, Tan and Bonnie are celebrating their wedding, you need to rest."

Chris, turning towards him, notices the time marked by the large clock hanging over the door through which Luca has entered. It reads 7 PM.

"Hey Luca, sorry, I've taken a shower here and then I guess I got distracted... I didn't realize it was so late."

"What's wrong, Chris?"

"Mmh nothing's wrong, I'm just tired."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah, tomorrow I'll be perfectly fine"

Chris looks down, she doesn't have the courage to meet Dominique's eyes, because she knows that if she looked at him, he would understand that she isn't feeling great, that she is lying...

"I don't believe you, Chris. We lived for three months together back in Germany, remember? I think I know by now how you are when you are not fine. There is definitely something that haunts you, I can tell. "

"No... really, it's nothing important."

"Does Street have something to do with it?"

Chris jumps at the mention of the name. How did Luca guess it on his first try? Chris knows he was right. She needs to be more careful at work.

"C'mon Chris, do you think I haven't seen the way you look at each other? And above all, do you think I don't know that you kept in touch and called each other every single day while he was recovering from surgery? Okay, I'm older than both of you, but I'm not deaf yet!!"

"We're best friends, that's it," Chris says, looking up at last.

"I'm sorry but I don't believe you ... and then ... let's just say that having caught Street searching the internet for information and documents on "how to transfer to another team in case of romantic relationship with a teammate" did the rest..."

Did Street really do that? Did he really searched for solutions on the internet to be with her? Chris feels even worse, thinking once again at how she behaved that night... and the days before. Or rather, not behaved.

Looking down, she replies. "Well, I don't know if it matters anymore, I think he sort of hates me. And it would be right, all I ever do is hurting him. But put yourself in my shoes. Can you blame me? I'm the only woman in SWAT, as I said to Street, I'd be the one in trouble. "

"Chris, do you love him? Because if you do, you have to tell him. You have to tell him, and you have to find a solution. Talk to the team ... we could find one, All together. Do not let him go. Life doesn't give second chances... trust me. I did it once. And now do you see where I am? I'm here, I share the house with a teammate, and I have fleeting dates that lead nowhere. And all because I let the woman of my life slip away, for the stupidest reasons. Don't make the same mistake I did. It's true, there is your career in the middle... but I'm sure there is the right solution for you to keep it and stay together.
I've seen you, what do you think? I see you every day. How you stare at each other, how you behave when you are close. It's more than just friendship, and I'm sure Tan, Deac and Hondo realized that too. What you two have, it's rare, very rare. One thinks they are young, that they have a thousand chances to fall in love because there are 7.8 billion people in the world... and postpone, postpone, postpone. But we must not always postpone, we will always be committed to something... this doesn't mean that we cannot have time for anything else. Especially since your private life is as important as your working life."

"I know you're right, but I don't wanna break the rules. We should not fraternise ... "

"I think it's too late for that...What's the difference? Do you think you need a label to care about him on the field and forget about protocols? Things are already different. If Street got hurt, I'm sure you would think about him and worry. Indeed, he certainly wouldn't give a damn about the rules just to protect you, even without formalizing the relationship ... "

"That's the point, I don't want Street to risk SWAT for me. I don't want this responsibility... not after everything I've done to bring him back."

"It wouldn't be your fault, Chris. But if you make a decision ... things could change, maybe you would be able to act more rationally."

"I really don't know ... but I have to talk to him, I can't keep this weight inside ... YOU don't know, but a few weeks ago, the day his mother died... I came to your house. We argued, he said he is tired of being in this half-relationship thing ... And I stayed still, he went into his bedroom and I stayed there, I didn't react. He was mourning... So I didn't really want to argue. But he was right. We can't touch each other, we can't kiss ... "

"Chris, it's just your head saying you can't. I could make you a list of those who have repeatedly broken the rules for love. Besides, it would just be about having a secret relationship... until you sort it out. Go tell him, Chris. Now I'll text him that I'm going out with some pals, not coming home for the night, so you are free to be together alone."

Chris stands up and hugs Luca.

"Yes, okay, you're right. I'm gonna tell him the truth about how I feel and I'll take what I really want."

"You go girl!"