Somebody to love | Taekook

Chapter 22

Days passed by as the sun washed down onto the grained earth every night and returned each morning. For everyone, time went on, their lives went on, their nights went on.

Jeongguk found himself at a sudden stop. The past months had been meadows of freshly cut grass and blooming flowers, and now it was withering trees and dead leaves on the ground- and all he could do was cry.

Pathetic, he thought to himself. He was pathetic. Pathetic, running after a man who never loved him. Pathetic, running after a man who was married. Pathetic, running after a man whose wife was pregnant. Pathetic, being a man who was married. Pathetic, being a man.

Jeongguk peered into the road in front of him. It looked like an abyss to nowhere. Why was he here?

Jeongguk saw a few men walking past him, upholding an image, a tier to society, and letting it crumble when they faded between cracks of walls and cement. Jeongguk followed, looking for bliss.

It's like all his life he'd been empty. He'd been unknowing of himself, at a constant state of confusion. Nothing ever felt right. Nothing ever felt quite satisfactory. It felt as if his entire life, he'd been living a lie. Until, until he met with the blazing fire.

The blazing fire which enveloped him with warmth in the coldest days, showed him light and made him recognize and accept his own shadow- that same fire now burnt his skin and left him in ashes.

But Jeongguk could never stop reaching for that warmth, that fire, that security, that happiness.

Jeongguk walked forward, down the pathway, and then stopped short in his steps. He saw the small door, behind it which lay a world unknown to the society of London. Jeongguk stepped towards it. The man standing in front of the door, guarding it, looked at him with speculation.

"Why're you here?" The man asked, interrogatingly.

"I-I wish to go inside. I didn't think I had to bring identification of sorts." Jeongguk said softly.

The man eyed him for a few seconds and then opened the door. "Don't cause trouble."

"Understood, sir." Jeongguk nodded and then walked into the large hallway. A dark, empty hallway. His pace increased, until he reached the door and pushed it open, and felt a breath leave his lips.

Lively music filled the room, laughter and dancing overcame it. Smoke leaving cigars huddled to the ceiling, and Jeongguk made his way through the smoke, a little tinge of happiness in his heart upon seeing all these men, laughing with one another, open, smiling. Some kissed, some hugged, some just basked in each other's company.

Jeongguk reached the bar. The bartender looked at him and then grinned. "I remember you. You were with that handsome blonde man, weren't you?"

"Yes sir," Jeongguk said faintly. The man smiled. "Would you like something to drink?" Jeongguk nodded at the question.

"W-whatever you serve here. I'm not too sure-" Jeongguk began, but the man handed him a cocktail. Jeongguk gave him a small smile and turned around, seeing two boys sitting around a small table, talking to each other. They looked too young, about 16.

"Ah, they're kids." The bartender said, leaning against the bar table. "We don't allow children. But the boys found the bar on their own, pleaded us to let them in. Couldn't say no to that. I reckon they're in love, don't you?" The bartender chuckled.

Jeongguk looked at the boys. One was smaller, wide-eyed, apprehensive in his nature, shy. He had tousled light brown hair. The other boy was taller, black-haired, smiling at him and holding his hand. The black haired one whispered things to the smaller, soft, and the smaller boy smiled gingerly and blushed.