Somebody to love | Taekook

Chapter 17

Jeongguk stared at himself in the mirror, eyes resembling a crystal, filled with tears. They weren't those of sadness, but rather, commemoration. Of sleepless nights and wallowing women.

His white shirt fell off his shoulder, his chin tilted up at his reflection, his skin pale, gleaming. His diamond sitting on the dip of his collarbone, sparkling. The bejeweled stone brought him much satisfaction, one that measly everyday occurrences could not fulfill.

Jeongguk was sat on the small white seat in front of Rosie's dresser she'd brought from home. The white woodwork on the top reminded him of her delicate beauty, one that was so effortless. Her lips always a pretty shade of pink made rosier with a tint or balm. Her cheeks flushed, contrasting beautifully to her blonde hair which always sat in curls on her shoulders. Her body small, always looking smaller in her flowy dresses. The light pink on her fingertips making her tinier hands look pretty, her entire physique pretty, everything about her- pretty, pretty, pretty.

Jeongguk was never in love with her. He'd always envied her.

Jeongguk wishes he could be her.

Rosie could've been with Taehyung. She would've satisfied his every desire. They would've kissed, and Taehyung would've held her petite body in his arms, and their blonde striking appearances would've melded together like water and sand. Jeongguk and Taehyung weren't like water and sand. They were water and fire.

Every approach to Taehyung would be distinguished, sparked into a bigger flame. They could never be together outside. Jeongguk could never be what Taehyung truly longed for, and that was the truth he hid with vigor. If Jeongguk was a woman, everything would be so much simpler.

Months ago, a few days after their marriage, Jeongguk was sure he was in love with Rosie. He'd always found her beautiful, always wanted to be closer to her, wanted to see how she moved, how she talked. He was never in love. He only had a yearning. A yearning to be like her.

Not a woman. But, pretty.

"Jeongguk?" Rosie's voice came. She'd come back from work. She stood by the door. Jeongguk turned his head towards her, looking delectable in the moonlight, like a flower. "Are you alright?"

Jeongguk nodded. He gave her a small smile. "I-I am." Jeongguk said, voice hushed. "How- um- how was work?"

"You've been crying?" Rosie asked, soft. She sounded caring, but in reality, she was uneasy. She always was, when seeing Jeongguk be so fragile, so... maidenly.

"No. No, I-" Jeongguk began, and then got up from the small seat, lifting the shoulder of his his shirt up. "I'm alright."

"This shirt seems too big for you," Rosie pointed out, confused. Jeongguk felt the fine fabric the shirt was made of, and bit his lip. "I-It's Taehyung's. I must've accidentally taken it in France." Jeongguk said, timid.

"Alright. I'll go make dinner." Rosie said, turning around to walk out. Jeongguk breathed out a sigh, and then walked to the study room to find the only telephone in their house. He was about to ring Taehyung's number, but hesitated.

Didn't know if calling the man would be the best option at the moment. They'd last been unsteady, uneven, left at a point Jeongguk didn't want to be at. With everything back at home, back at work, back at every place else, fighting with Taehyung felt horrible. Taehyung was his only source of happiness at the moment, as unhealthy as it may seem.

Jeongguk didn't call him. Instead, he sat down on his chair and burrowed himself in another one of his extensive law books. At times he wondered if law was something he actually wanted to do. Criminal law too. He wasn't quite sure. He knew his aunt wanted to become a lawyer, but never could become one because women of her age weren't allowed to have such jobs. He'd always looked up to her, so following her footsteps and fulfilling her dreams felt right.