put the radio on ... [kc]

chapter 2

cassie

the car ride into seattle the day before dragged but that would be the last time , now that i'd finally got myself an apartment there . i should've done it when i first wanted to , when i had to stay in a motel here for a week to record my first album with subpop . we'd released an ep and a few singles here and there, each of which i'd also had to drive 1 hour to seattle for , stuff they'd only play on college radio , but i'd never done anything as big as an album , it'll be big for me even if nothing comes of it . i had my first radio interview that night where they'd talk to me for an hour and have  intervals every 20 mins for some of my songs or adverts , so i still had time to unpack ; it was only 5:30. Bennie - producer and my only friend here - would be picking me up at 7 to start the interview at 8 so i set up my record player and put on my record Bleach - Nirvana . they'd just brought out nevermind which i was dying to get , i'd already heard come as you are on the radio and already i'd started to try scrape together the money to get it .

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"you ready for this ?" bennie asks coming round to open my door (the inside handle had bust) .

"i don't know if i can do this , i mean , people aren't gonna know who i am so will either turn over the station or they'll base their judgements on this - purely this"

"yes - and they'll love you . how could they not? now hurry up and get out before i get ran over"

bennie shut the door then we began walking down the busy street , dimly lit by street lamps , hardly bright enough to see my own feet . to the top of the road , turn right twice to the side alley back entrance of the station's buiding . i was never normally a nervous person but this had me stumped. i opened my cigarette pack , put it in my mouth , fought with my lighter until it finally lit the stick in my mouth . i couldn't keep my legs still , pacing back and forth a metre or two - i was a complete nervous wreck .

"hey hey hey" bennie softly said placing his hands on my shoulders , "you'll be fine , i've met the guy  interviewing you before , jack , he's nice , can be a bit if a dick but overall he's nice enough. you've got nothing to worry about" he drops his hands back to his side after waiting for my nod . i take one last drag of my cig before bennie takes a drag and puts it out on the wet pavement with the toe of his shoe.

we walk in and are greeted by a young woman at the small reception desk in the far left corner of the corridor-like room.

"name please" she asks with a smile

"cassie tate , this is bennie smiths , he's with me"

"okay , that's room number 4 , 2nd floor , 3rd door to the right"

we walk in silence through hallways in the flickering , yellow-tinted lighting . the carpet was an old , brownish orange , floral pattern , something my parents would have had in the 70s, and was frayed in the corners ; until we reached the elevator . with a shaking hand i press the button . we waited five minutes for the it to come but the tension made it feel like five hours . 

soon enough we'd found our way to the studio and were welcomed by jack and the guys working with him .

"okay so cassie , you just sit on that side of the table and bennie , you sit behind the glass with chris and mike okay?" 

i took my seat and jack sat opposite . we both put on our headphones and picked up or mics.

mike lifted up his finger behind the glass pannel ,and through the headphones we here him say : "and we're on air in 3 , 2 , 1"

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it  wasn't even that bad to be honest . jack asked me questions about my upcoming album and obviously , as they do with woman , he asked me about my love life and commented on my looks and asked how i stay so pretty . he was quite nice to be honest , pretty flirty , but i just got on with it .

"how old are you?" he asked

"17"

"shit" he muttered under his breath , how come your out here so young ? rich parents ? buying you your own place at 16?"

"yeah ... something like that..." 

it was nothing like that . i grew up in a trailer park with parents who seemed to love the idea of a little girl , just not a daughter . i didn't have many friends at home except kelly . she was my best friend . we'd go out every night and get drunk in the park or on a field somewhere ; but her parents weren't so absent therefore had a lot to say about our smoking and sneaking out together , driving with the roof down in her dad's vintage mustang .we never needed much . just a bottle of peach schnapps and one another . 

but now she's gone . 

and so am i , i guess .

we retrace our steps out of the building , down the street and back to bennie's car . he came round once again and opened and closed my door for me before getting in himself and putting the keys in the ignition .

"the handle works on the outside , doesn't it ? you don't need to open the door for me"

"i know" he says , starting to drive , "but i want to"

we drive for 10 minutes before we're at my place . i get out of the car .

"thanks for coming and driving me , having you there really helped"

"don't worry about it , really" bennie replied with a smile .

i  shut the car door and before going into my own apartment , i turn back and wave at him . bennie waits until i've closed my door before driving away .

an : I swear kurt and cassie will meet at some point soon enough , just not yet , i gotta set the scene first .

xx