Firefly (boyxboy) (step-brothers)

31

Nate woke up to an empty bed. To an empty room, in fact. His stomach knotted in trepidation as he sat up. He still couldn't make out the aftermath of last night, but a part of him had hoped Jayden had forgiven him. Maybe he hadn't?

He got out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt before he padded out to the living room, ignoring the soreness in his ass. He came to a halt when he spotted Jayden out on the deck, his back facing the house. What was he doing out there? Didn't he know he could catch a cold with the little clothes he had on? The step-brotherly part of him told him to go over there and tell Jayden to get back inside, another part of him however...

Nate nibbled on his bottom lip before walking over to the door, opening it gently. "What are you doing out here?" Even he could hear the nervous edge in his voice.

Jayden's head turned slightly in his direction before changing its mind and focusing back out on the ocean. A deep sigh left his lips along with a small train of fog that soon became one with the cold winds. How long had he been standing out here?

"I just... needed some air, I guess. To clear my head," Jayden whispered. His voice sounded so... strange. It didn't sound like him, at all, and the knot in Nate's stomach intensified.

"Oh," was the best he could come up with, though. He opened his mouth to say more, but Jayden turned around to face him.

"I," Jayden's brows knitted together as he searched for the right words. His cheeks had turned pink from the cold, but he didn't seem to acknowledge it. All Nathan wanted to do was to go over to him and hug him tightly, but he wasn't sure that was okay. He hated how insecure he felt around Jayden. It was just so, so... unnatural. Jayden, unaware of Nate's inner turmoil, finally found the words. "I didn't like the way I acted yesterday," he breathed out. Nate noticed the whirlwind of emotions reflected in his stepbrother's eyes. His heart constricted painfully. "I was just so mad at you still, and I-I-I can't believe I did that to you," he finished with a helpless shrug.

The pain that shone as clear as the morning sun in his eyes, unfroze Nate. He rushed over to his stepbrother, the man he loved to no end. "Hey, hey, there," he said in a soothing voice as he grabbed Jayden's arms and gently shook the younger boy. "You didn't do anything to me."

"But I-I–"

"Hey," Nate interrupted and pulled Jayden in for a tight embrace. His hands clutched the back of Jayden's head. "It's okay," He whispered against Jayden's ear. "Everything's okay."

Jayden's body trembled. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice breaking at the end.

"Me too, so sorry," Nate whispered back. They stayed there, holding onto each other and mending the broken parts these last couple of days had created for however long were needed. "I love you."

"I love you too, so much," Jayden replied, squeezing Nate.

Nate's heart exploded. It literally felt like it exploded. Jayden probably didn't understand how much it meant for Nate to hear those words again. His grip tightened. If he could just make the two of them become one, then all would be fine. Everything would be fine.

Jayden was the one to break the hug. "I need to get inside, my balls are about to freeze off."

This earned him a chuckle, but before heading inside, Nate found Jayden's eyes. "So we're... okay?"

"Yeah, we're okay," Jayden smiled softly but the smile never reached his eyes and Nate could tell that despite everything that had taken place yesterday, they weren't. Or maybe it was because of what had happened that things weren't okay. Nate wasn't sure. The equilibrium they'd so snuggly been in since forever, seemed to have reached its peak and dawn was now upon them. The blissful darkness that'd embraced them so cozily, gone, broken by the first rays of the sun, putting everything in a different light. The soft shadows had turned sharp, reflecting all the dents and scars in their relationship. He could tell Jayden's own actions yesterday had scarred the younger man. To what extent, he wasn't sure, but Nate blamed himself. His shy, yet cocky, stepbrother, the guy who always wore a smile, had possessed a darker personality yesterday and it hadn't only intimidated Nate, it had shaken Jayden to the core.

Nate pushed the daunting thoughts away and offered Jayden what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "You wanna make some breakfast and watch a movie together?"

"Yeah," Jayden agreed.

And so, the two stepbrothers walked back inside and spent a calm day at home, eating breakfast and watching a Disney together, only easy topics shared between them as they tried to mend the now visible cracks in their relationship.

In the evening, Nate even had the courage to make love to Jayden, slow and sweet, savoring the feeling of once more being connected to the younger man on a deeper level. And come Sunday, the conversations flowed more easily between them, and the sex was great, yet... Nate had been correct in his assumptions. Everything was not okay. No matter how much they both pretended it was.

* * *

The doorbell rang and Jayden rushed up from the kitchen chair, where he'd been wolfing down his breakfast. "I'll get it!"

"You know who it is?" Nate asked with a frown, glancing at his wristwatch. It was only ten past seven in the morning. Who'd call on them this early on a Monday? In fact, who'd call on them period?

He heard Jayden greet someone in the doorway and told them to step inside. This piqued his interest further and he headed for the hallway. "Hi Thomas," he greeted even though he was surprised to see Jayden's friend here. "What brings you here?"

"I'm giving Jayden a ride to school," Thomas said while looking back and forth between the two stepbrothers, a bit confused himself. Hadn't Jayden told Nate about this arrangement? Maybe the two stepbrothers hadn't made up since the fight?

Nate turned to Jayden, who effectively avoided eye contact as he bent down to put on his shoes. "You're not taking your bike?"

"It broke down," Jayden explained shortly, his body tensing at the memory of his own breakdown. He straightened up and grabbed his black leatherjacket from the rack.

"Your bike broke down?" Nate asked, stunned. "Why didn't you tell me? I could have picked you u –" the rest of the sentence died on his tongue as he put two and two together. Right, he hadn't been in town to be able to come to his stepbrother's rescue. "Jayden, I'm so sorry. But I could've driven you to school."

"Yeah well, Thomas lives nearby, and I didn't want to bother you. You have enough with work as it is."

There it was again, the small insinuation that Jayden hadn't really forgiven him. Several of those had been dropped during the weekend, even though Nate had tried to ignore them.

Thomas, starting to grow uncomfortable, wracked his brain for something to say. "Yeah, it sucks about the bike, but the day was still successful, right?" He looked over at Jayden. "What with you selling a painting and all –" he said before he noticed Jayden shaking his head, trying to stop him. Thomas bit his lip. Had he just said something he shouldn't? The sudden tense atmosphere you could cut with a butterknife told him he had.

"You..." Nate closed his mouth, eyes falling to the ground, eyebrows pinched together. "You sold a painting and didn't tell me?"

"I'm just-I'm just gonna wait in the car," Thomas announced awkwardly, pointing toward the door, "yep."

Jayden watched Thomas leave like his ass was on fire and sighed deeply before focusing on his stepbrother. Nate was still glaring at the floor. Jayden dragged a hand through his hair. "Look, I was going to tell you. There just hasn't been a good time to bring it up."

"Right," Nate managed to get out, still not meeting Jayden's eyes. He wasn't sure if it was Jayden he was mad at, or himself...

"I... I have to get to school or I'm gonna be late," Jayden murmured. "But we're okay, right?"

Were they? Nate wasn't sure anymore. Would he ever become sure again? He collected his hurt feelings that were scattered across the floor and forced himself to meet Jayden's eyes while plastering on a smile as fake as Donald Trump's hair. "Of course."

"Yeah?" Jayden asked, not convinced, but he really needed to go unless he wanted to be late.

"Yeah."

"Okay, see you after work." Jayden paused. "I love you," he ended, somewhat awkwardly, and headed for the door.

Nate gave him half a smile, hand grasping his own neck. "Love you too. Oh, and Jayden..." Jayden stopped in the doorway and turned to Nate. "I'm really happy for you about your painting."

Jayden's smile seemed genuine enough, even though it was tainted with some sadness. "It was your favorite that got sold." And then he was out of the house.