Hard to love .

2.

TW!! : self harm, Ed , bullying
Ivy Nott
*RING RING RING* the alarm rings for me to wake up . " ugh shut the fuck up" I say grabbing my pillow to my face screaming in it . I don't know why I decided it was a good idea to transfer to Hogwarts. Tbh I never really got the catch to it, it was just some random school with some magical creatures and magic wands and stuff, plus some really hot boys . I get up going to the bathroom and brushing my teeth. I almost jump looking at myself in the mirror, damn was I really that ugly in the mornings? When I'm done I get a outfit that actually represents me , I want people to think I actually have a sense of style not some boring basic bitch. Trust me , I seen my brothers clothes ou baby..

~outfit~

After I was done and putting on my outfit I looked in the mirror. God damn I was hot , if it was possible I would've been with myself instead of any other boy in this world. I go down the stairs for breakfast. My family was horrible but apparently no one else saw that . My dad was always never at home with us nor my mom. I get my dad has work and business but my mom? She doesn't work or own any business, and if she worked with my dad Theo would of told me already. I lived with my grandmother, Amy and Theo my brother . She was sweet and my best friend i tell her anything and she listens, she is basically my mother figure. She raised me my entire life even when my mom was here at home but to tired to take care of me.

The reason I decided to join Hogwarts was because my only family was Theo that actually cared about me and he went to that school. My grandma is very sick at the time and is always in her room. I can't blame her, she is very old and tired. Plus in my old school I had 0 friends, it was kinda my fault because I never got to socialize with others, but people could've came up to me right? I guess my resting face scared them away . I go down stairs and see Dobby cooking some eggs and bacon for me. I grab some orange juice and start eating. I was starving, I starved myself for a week now. I hated my body even though everyone else loved it and wanted it.

I felt fat and ugly. I remember this one time where a girl decided to be a bitch and started calling me a pig for eating a donut out of no where. I got called many nick names cause of my body. "Skinny bones" , "stick" ," fat pig" ," keep eating slut" . That's when I started cutting. My legs,arms,wrist,stomach. No one knew at the time but than I told my grandma Amy. I can't tell her that stuff now because she is sick, I don't want to worry her more.

"THEO COME ON!" I screamed loudly hoping that he hurry's. When I finished I told dobby thank you and went to knock on Theos bedroom door. "Come on the train is going to leave!" I whined before he opens the door. "Calm down ivy, I been doing this for 6 years now nothing new." He tells me while pushing my shoulder when he starts walking out his room. I roll my eyes at him and grab my stuff. "Ready- woahh" he starts examining my body with his eyes grew bigger. "You can't wear that ivy, there gonna boys there only looking at you." "Don't they give you robes or some shit, plus I'm not changing I look good thank you very much." I start stating while walking pass him. He knows I'm right and roll his eyes at what I just said.

IN THE TRAIN
I walk into the train trying to find a compartment. I feel a touch on my shoulder which makes me instantly turn around looking at who just touched me. I hate being touched in every way, no constant , no touch. "I see you can't find a compartment, come over here" Theo says grabbing my arm and Starts pulling me to a compartment with some people already in it. He goes inside and sits down next to this blond hair boy while I stand outside awkwardly. I see these 2 very pretty girls staring at me with smiles on there faces, I smile back. " well are you coming in or what?" Theo says annoyed that the boys keep staring at me up and down, now I know why he wanted me to change. I go inside and take a seat next to the pretty girl with ginger hair.

She pulls out her hand to shake mines and says "Sophia justice" with a beautiful smile on her face. "Ivy Nott" I tell her and shakes her hand. "You're Theos sister that he has been talking about!" She excitedly exclaims . "Yeah I am, I transferred to Hogwarts because he missed me so much , isn't that right Theo?" I smirk at him while he is rolling his eyes . "Yeah sure whatever," he mumbled so Not many people can hear it, but I did.

"I'm jasmine, jasmine Robben" the other pretty girl turns her hand to me with a gorgeous smile on her face. I wish I was as pretty as them. "I am living for your style!" She says. "Thank you !" I replied back. "I don't see anything special about it" says a rude voice. I look up to see the blond hair boy scrunch up his nose while looking at me up and down like I'm disgusting or some shit. "Well i dont dress to please people you know." I say harshly back at him. He rolls his eyes at my rude comment not expecting me to reply to him like that. I don't know who this boy is but he was already getting on my nerves.

Me and the girls chat for a little while the boys just sit and relax. The blond hair boy kept staring at me the whole train ride. "Staring problem ey?" I say looking at that blond boy,I wonder what his name is . "Definitely not." He states still looking at me. "Well maybe if you weren't staring so hard I wouldn't have to think that." . He sits up completely putting his elbows on his knees and holds his hands together while licking his lips. "Feisty one huh Theo?" He starts while turning his head in the direction Theo is in seating down. "I don't know malfoy maybe you have to find out," he starts smirking at me , he was so annoying . All he try's to do is match me up with some one when he clearly knows I don't want anyone. " no , Theo maybe he doesn't. Malfoy huh?" I say looking at him straight into his grey eyes, they look so cold yet so hot.

Malfoy starts chuckling . "Yes it's malfoy and for you it's only malfoy." He says sternly. It's kinda scary when he says it but I can't actually Let him think he can make me one of his hoes like any other girl at this school. The train slowly starts getting to a stop . Now it's my time.

HEY GUYS!! OMG THIS WAS MY FIRST CHAPTER I THINK IT WAS TO MUCH 😭 ANYWAYS OPINIONS?? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT?? Xoxo 💟