Heeseung Ship Prompts/Oneshots

Oneshot 14. [Maybe]

Ship: None

Angst!!! TW; Cutting, blood, su1c1dal thoughts!

Read at your own risk!

Start!

Heeseung turns in his bed.

This isn't how the hyung of ENHYPEN is supposed to feel.

He's supposed to be the grounded one, the one to be the backbone for his members but what is Heeseung supposed to do when he can't scream in pain when he wants.

You're never enough.

You're a failure at your favourite hobby, how laughable.

Just give up, go back and become a fucking hermit.

Heeseung stares at the ceiling, gaze unwavering, he remembers the first time he cut.

At first it was due to blind rage, a large scar across his forearm.

As the months past by, Heeseung learnt to cut only the surface level of his skin, to bash at his head hence, leaving zero traces of scars.

Maybe a faint one. The ones made on days that weren't going well.

He remembers the first time he cried due to his pain, his sad playlist on Spotify playing in the background, Fine by Taeyeon was playing.

His playlists was filled with songs full of comfort, pain, sadness and longing for death.

Heeseung wept gently in his bed that day, back at his parent's house. After crying he'd join his family for dinner acting like nothing ever happened, joking with his brother and annoying his parents with light hearted jokes.

The window is slightly cracked open in his room.

It's winter now, how funny the weather suits my mood, Heeseung thinks.

He's lucky that he's got the room to himself, he wouldn't have to worry too much about accidentally waking his members up.

Looking out the window, he wonders when he will be able join the stars.

Since young, he's been enraptured by the cosmic wonder of stars, how technically what people on Earth see could be the past of a star meanwhile the actual star had died off years ago yet Heeseung can't help but love the idea that when people die, they'd join the stars twinkling across the galaxy.

Some may shine brighter than others, but each star up there living out the life it has remaining left.

I mean, after all, one common trait everything in this universe share is that they all have the carbon chemical somewhere in their chemical structure.

It's hard to cry now Heeseung sadly thinks, having being used to holding back his tears to seem more strong and braver.

How silly of young Heeseung to withhold his tears to seem like he isn't like others.

Heeseung wants to cry now yet he can't, having to release through shifting uncomfortably in his bed.

His right leg jittering uncontrollably as he picks at his fingernails, scratches at his arms. There was a reason why Heeseung always wore long sleeved clothes whenever he was performing on stages.

The stylists weren't happy with the marks and bruises on his arms but brushes it off when Heeseung came in lively, brightening up the mood.

Heeseung would always smile bashfully when they would scold lightly for injuring himself.

He'd cover up his agony with a sma smile masking his face, saving himself by saying that he just bumped into something and it bruised his skin, which wasn't completely false. Heeseung had always been clumsy despite being nearly perfect.