loving you is not easy

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Synopsis:

Loving him is hard. He doesn't make it any easier. Poseidon is well aware that he took you for granted sometimes. But he is willing to try. And if you were to give him another chance, he will make sure to try his best at paving the way to his heart for you.

 And if you were to give him another chance, he will make sure to try his best at paving the way to his heart for you

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Birthdays are often celebrated with joy and happiness. While some would argue that this was not worth celebrating, another year with the same routine as the one before, optimists would beg to differ. ''This is another year of your life,'' they would argue. ''Is it not worth celebrating another year of your life? Another year of surviving in this harsh world?'' Many celebrate this special event with friends and families. They would hang around beautiful balloons, organise a feast just for you. For you, however, there was none of this. Not since you started your living with Poseidon that is. Everyone was surprised, but none was more than you when the god who is worshipped and feared by gods and humans alike took an interest in you. Everyone, including you, thought that the god who hated humans the most would never lay his cold piercing eyes on you. It was beneath him after all. At first, you didn't know how to react. Should you be frightened? Or should you be honoured? There was no one scarier than Poseidon. The little movement could offend him on his worst days. If you had to describe him, it would be that he was the calm sea before the impending storm. And yet, as he tried his best to court you, you believed that the god couldn't be as bad as they described him to be. On his best days, he was the best partner you could ever want. But on his worst days, on days when he would be so far away that you could not understand him anymore, you wondered if it was all worth the pain. Did the good days outweigh the bad days? Or did the bad outweigh the good?

He made loving difficult. Some days, you ruminate over this belief. 'Is love supposed to be this complicated or is it a particularity which came with being in a relationship with him, a god who is above gods and humans alike?' You didn't know the answer even as you entered your fifth year together.

You didn't know what he was thinking about in the early days of your relationship. He was complicated. His expression never changed. He was always infuriatingly impassive. He was like the statues sculpted in his honour. Cold, out of reach with a frightening indifference in his eyes.

And as you look out to the view outside of your balcony in the palace of the god of the sea, you can't help but let out a scoff. For these last five years, you tried to elicit even the slightest expression from him. You wanted to see him smile at least once, but even that was impossible. When you entered this relationship, you foolishly and desperately believed that you could be satisfied with whatever he offered. You desperately tried to ignore the ache in your chest every time he would brush off your affections when you first started dating. At first, you thought that with time, he would become used to your affection but it only seemed to drive him away even further. At one point, you stopped trying. What was the use when he would only become more distant? Funnily enough, like a child when ignored, it was then that Poseidon started to seek you out. He tried to become more attentive to your feelings. So you gave it another try. You made it into your first year together. And while he was still distant, you felt that he was much closer than at the beginning.

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