c!TommyInnit angst stories

Repeat it

Tommy had to hide. If he wanted to live, he had to go somewhere far to remain safe.
Imagine having a literal insane person after your head. Tommy liked his head, he didn't want to share it with him.

So, in the middle of the night, he packed what he neccesarily needed for survival. He would leave everything back at his house, he surely would come back.

He alerted everyone who knew about his escape, well everyone who still remained there. The one's who had the guts to face him.

"Alright Tommy...we planned a safe escape route for you. Just- follow this map. And take this compass with you so that you can know your way back." Sapnap said. They had gotten closer as they both had something to do with Dream.

"Be safe out there dude. We'll contact you when it'll be over."

"What if it won't be over?"

"Dude, I promise you. Okay?"

"Alright. Thanks, Sapnap- I'll go now."

Sapnap sighed and nodded. Tommy smiled at him as he turned around to hop on to his horse and leave.

And so he did.

Sure, by the time he got there the sun was already out. He sighed in relief as he saw the hideout, now he could rest. For real, not worrying about what he'll do tomorrow to survive again. It'll be like a mini vacation, the one he needed desperately.

He had many things planned out. He wanted to learn how to properly knit, how to bake, how to grow crops other than wheat and so many other things that he would normally worry about people judging if they found out. One of his many insecurities. But he wasn't a quitter, it wasn't in his character.

So, he got settled in. Because he spent the night awake all the time, a sudden wave of tiredness swept over him the minute he "decided" to relax.

He then slept. For one hour. Then two. Then three, four. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.

He woke up and didn't feel the energy to actually get up and do something. He knew he had stuff to do, but he couldn't manage to get himself out of the bed.

He went back to sleep forcefully. Another two hours...then two hours turned into five.

He finally decided to get up properly after the second nap. He felt a little bit more energetic. Curios to what time it was, he went outside to find that it was nighttime, again. He brushed it off, and went inside, curious as to what he had to eat.

And he had, lots of things. Puffy had made and sent food to him a few days before he left, and she cooked a lot. So he was supposed to be fine.

He didn't feel like eating. So he ignored it and went to try and do something else. He could grow crops. I mean, he could plan where they'd go and plant them. Sure, he loved doing that. It was a thing he did everyday.
So without hesitation, he went to work. He knew exactly what he was doing, and soon after an hour of stalling and such, he planted the seeds.
Brushing off the dirt on him, he looked at what he accomplished for the millionth time. He didn't feel the same as he did before.
He thought it was normal, it was a long day aswell. Along with brushing off the thought, he promised himself that he would actually do something the next day.

He went to sleep late this time, very late. One, two, three...nine hours.

It was noon.

He yawned, got up, didn't feel like eating. He remembered where he was and the feeling of dread he always felt before was back. He ignored it, surely it was nothing.

He went outside, checked on the horse. Checked the crops. Zoning out though, he got stuck in front of them.
Half of the remaining day he spent there, before going back into the house to sleep.
He woke up, it was night time, again.

This damn circle continued on for 2 weeks. Waking up, refusing to eat, going to do something he wanted so badly to do but end up doing the same thing he knew best to do every day.

Something was clearly wrong when he started feeling more exhausted. He got a message from Sapnap.

"Hey dude, we got Dream locked in a temporary cage thing. But it's still not safe, he threatens to kill you the first second he sees you even in captivity. We'll try to get rid of him, and then you can come back home. No more of this self isolation."

Dream was no longer free. That was awesome! Great news, actually. But knowing that he hadn't given up on finding him put a bigger weight on his shoulders. It wasn't over yet, so there was still more to look forward with dread.

His body got used to little to no food everyday. Eating in the rarely few mornings he got up made him sick. He realized a little bit too late that the damage he had done was irreversible, when it wasn't supposed to be harmful in the first place. He didn't know. No one teached him, no one warned him.

He also didn't get anything done, making him angry at himself  for being uncapable.

The solution? Sleeping. It seemed the only reasonable answer. He didn't dream, he didn't feel ,he wasn't connected. That made him- no, happy isn't the word for it. It made him feel a little bit more than numb.

Looks like George really knew his tactics.

The loneliness got to him aswell. Voices appeared, to only spread negative thoughts. When he did something he felt he had done wrong, the voices were the first to come and mock him.

The words they would use to describe him would stop hurting eventually, and used it to his advantage. Talking to the voices kept him distracted, and he really, REALLY needed a distraction.

...

Three goddamn weeks. They felt like forever, like he fell in a endless hole for the past 30 years. He didn't wanna be reminded that he still had to live so much years before-

And so the thoughts came to him. Yes but No. No but Yes. A reason would stop hundreds of thousands of good reasons. It was all so, so exhausting. Even thinking about how tired he was made him just wanna end it all.

So, with all this stress and feeling the need to live instead of him being stuck in this "house" he used for protection, he came to a conclusion soon enough after a whole month.

He realized how miserable he was. How miserable his life was. How he couldn't change his ways and be productive. How small and meaningless he truly is.

...

And so, the decision that came with the realization was final. He was going to go back. He didn't care if Dream was more than a psycho now and that he would kill him on sight, maybe it was the thing he wanted. He needed what hope there was left there. If there was any left. He needed new reasons to keep going and to stop repeating the same day over and over again.

He got back. He felt..

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Me here, Idk how he felt at the end because I'm personally not in that stage where I actually take action like this Tommy did, so I cant really finish it without making it accurate haha
Also yes, Dream killed him afterwards