My last epilogue

THE DREAM

I never thought about how to live in a world without my parents, or worse, without their love.

Since we lost Grandpa Rob last year, I've ended up letting sadness take over me to the point of fear when Mom or Dad walks out the door. I don't stop to think that I've always had this terrifying feeling, like we're passing by and going through the same epilogue of the book several times, when in the end I would end up bereft by the acidic flavor of the loss. I tried to combat this silent anguish by believing that this was just a phase, it would soon pass, and it passed... It passed when I plunged into occupations, hours on the phone easing the longing for my best friend who stayed in West Jordan, changing my nail polish many times, facing the admirable nature while I listen to some music at random, read some book that drowns my panics it was my most efficient achievement. I smiled distractedly as I passed another page of Frankenstein, that's when Dad probably saw me draw a happy line about my often saddened face.

— Is that that Mary Shelley book, dear?

Asked, raising his eyebrows slightly curiously. I nodded, staring at the view coming from the windshield. My eyes dropped to Mom's tablet displaying pictures of our new home, she seemed happy about it. Or maybe it wasn't a matter of happiness, but security. There is a Serial Killer in West Jordan, and he has already killed nineteen people. They are women between 15 and 30 years old who appear dismembered around the city. My parents, desperate with the direction the deaths were taking, decided that we would move at least for a while, away from all that spilled blood from the city we left behind.

Fortunately, he, a psychologist, will be able to attend to his patients online, but Mom is a teacher and will have to go into town twice a week. So this would be my latest fear? Could something happen to her, being in town where crimes still happen chaotically? I took a deep breath, refocusing on the book once I remembered the age of your victims, they are not my mother's age and I feel terrible for thinking this is a relief. I'm sorry for all these lives lost. A warm breeze blows on the lush river of our new, sprawling rural town across the Snake River. The waters are surrounded by green irrigated land that extends for kilometers in all directions. Idaho Falls is a mid-sized city often overlooked in the American west and I know that I will hate to stay here as a lone wolf, but that's okay, it's better than being dead.

Now that we had arrived, I was too curious to continue with the eyes stuck to the little words of the book lying in my thigh. I closed it before opening the window and stuck my head out. I can hear the rustle of branches, creating a sound comforting amidst the waters dancing in the hot wind. The sky was bluer than that it always has been, the white clouds looked tiny, the sunlight seeps into my skin making a point of warming my flushed cheekbones. I didn't care. There was something about the sun that was magical, I'm starting to think maybe coming here was the best thing that we did. I opened my eyes, watering by the masterful sunlight, I looked at the stream dividing the city, wide and languid just before falling into a narrow black rock.

—– ٠ ✤ ٠ —–

I sucked in air, raising my eyebrows as the car pulled into our new house.

— Wow.— I suspire, taking a curious look around the place. — Is all this ours?!—

I ask taking out the first box on the seat. There weren't many, we don't expect to stay a long time around here. As perfect as it sounds, we have our lives in another city.

— The property owner wasn't charging much for the rent. — Mom smiled. I frowned in disbelief.— Wait until you see the pool, Ana.

The house was two floors tall, painted all in an affable pastel green. Many windows whites encircled all the walls, trees everywhere and a route that probably leads to the forest. Dad takes the box from my hand causing mine attention to become entirely his.