The city of lost stars

*Prologue*

I am different, I know it.

I was born mute. It's as though silence is my twin. I grew up listening to the world, but I couldn't express myself the way I wanted to. Everyone I see is capable of speaking and singing until their throats dry up. I'm jealous of the kids that I see in the playground who are screaming in happiness and delight when someone pushes their swing. How I wish I could shout "you're caught" when we play tap. How I wish I could tell my seatmate what happened when I lost my diary. How I wish I COULD SPEAK.

I thought being different is alright, I just thought. Being mute means that people will bully you, people will take advantage of you. All the time when I was in kindergarten I'm letting the bullies feel the pleasure of bullying without being caught. They're taking my books and throwing it outside the window, they're getting my food, they're even pouring milk on my head. And what did I do? I just sat there. Speechless as always, powerless as a dying dove. Everytime I write something, the other kids would laugh at it and would crumple the paper. They think that I'm mute... and insane at the same time.

Not only that I was born differently, I think differently as the others. Once my mother asked my brother to look up at the sky and tell what he saw. "I see the birds and the clouds." He smiled at mother while blinking and having that I-like-what-I-saw-look. My mother asked me to do the same. I scribbled some words at a paper and gave it to her. She read it aloud: "I see beautiful flowers and butterflies flying through a purple portal.". "Whatever you're seeing, they're gonna bring you to another dimension. You're my little butterfly and I know that you'll be entering that portal and you'll have endless adventures". She knelt down and kissed mine and my brother's forehead. "My little sweethearts, I know that for some reason I've been a terrible parent. I can't give you what you want for the money I earn is just enough for our daily living."She looked at us with such happiness in her eyes. "I'm happy to have you both" She added, and proceeded to open the door to our home.

All these time, I was blinded by the thought that only my mother and my brother could understand me. Yes, until now, I'm still lurking in the darkness. No one understands me, no one likes me. They're all thinking that I'm useless because besides the fact that I can't speak, I have a particularly weak body. Is it coincidental that I have a weak body, a weak soul, and a weak fighting spirit? I just want to vanish in this cruel world and live by the angels' side. But that wouldn't be that easy because everytime I fall, God gives me a reason to stand up. Is he giving me false hopes? I hope not.

I look at the sky, and see the stars. The imageries made by them are beautiful. And for some reason, I can see my mother's face when I look at them. Not only my mother's but I can also see thousands of different faces looking back at me. Why are these stars so scattered? Are they lost? One day they'll find their way back to where they're meant to be. I wish I could be like them, lost but still giving light. Right now, I'm lost, and I give no light. I myself can't even light up a fire inside of me, how am I supposed to give light to others? I'm still searching for the answer.

How can I even survive a day without getting criticized badly? How could I even survive if I'm barely breathing, slowly withering because of the world's agonies thrown into me? I am lost, but I'm still looking for the right path. My name's Lisanna, and THIS IS MY STORY.