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Chapter Two

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2016, one year before present time.

Satoru G. POV

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"He always liked me with my hair down, I wonder if he'd like me in this state."

The 'he' he had referred to was a person that I didn't think he would mention, a person whose relationship ended years ago when he decided that he had different goals than the other. The person who he supposedly never had talked to again after those many years, yet still thought about him.

If he cared so much about him why did he care to leave anyways, if he didn't leave I like to think of another possibility. A possibility that maybe all of us would be here, together. A possibility that maybe all of us would be alive right now, not a million worlds apart from one another.

A million might've been an exaggeration or an understatement, yet I wouldn't have known, Suguru wouldn't have known, I don't think anyone would've known where he was, who he was with, or what he was even doing in this moment.

"I doubt he's even in Japan anymore," and that was a genuine answer that clearly had a possibility of being the truth, "Why do you care so much?" I kept quiet at even the mention of his person, even if for a brief moment. It was clear that Suguru was still in that intoxicated state of infatuation, unable to let go or see what was directly in front of him, which was the truth.

It was a genuine question because I wasn't sure what was going on in his mind. Halfway across the river Styx and all he could think about was some person that existed in his life for a few years just to disappear out of it in a blink of an eye.

I wondered if in my last moments, I would be able to think of someone, anyone, in order to keep me alive even if just for a few more minutes. A few more minutes that could mean anything to anyone listening, yet I doubt now would anyone be there for me other than the one who's dying right in front of me.

"C'mon, even at the end, let me talk about him." He laughed solemnly like he knew that past this point, he wouldn't even be able to think about him anymore. Was he scared of death, or was he scared of letting go of him forever? That was something I constantly wondered about during this last interaction I had with him.

Just the sound of him talking about the one person who made him laugh, made him depressed, made him able to continue living like he wasn't just a tool ultimately turned my stomach inside out. His longing for him was like a special grade curse, it made me feel a sense of disgust or the need to somehow be better than him, like a superiority complex.

"Any last words?"

I always feel the need to assert my superiority against other beings in a fight, but this was never a fight I could win, which was the most depressing thing of all.

"Hah... you're so cruel."

Cruel? How could I not be cruel after everything I experienced with him after you left?

It was like I was never his friend too, it was like those 4 years he spent with us were never 'Suguru and Satoru,' it was always just 'Suguru.' You wouldn't understand what it was like being the second option, you wouldn't understand how painful it was to continue trying to talk to him when all he had in his eyes was the action of missing you.