Just an rp John Laurens background

Age 17

~Laurens pov~

I didn't abort it. I was so close to aborting it. The pain and cramps were unbearable. I would have aborted it if it weren't for the backlash that I would have got from people telling me I'm a murderer and that it didn't have consent to get killed. I'm the one who didn't have consent, I'm the one who has to go through the pain of the rape and the birth. I didn't consent to the making of the soon to be child. The thing can't even process the meaning of consent yet.  This is all I think about as I'm crying on the floor of a separate room. Even though it's been months since that happened I've been to scared to go into my own room.

I don't even want this kid. Francis "wants" it, and if he did "want" it he'd try to help me through some of this. I sigh and slowly sit up and rub my eyes. I haven't been able to wear my binder since my chest is growing slightly due to the child I've been carrying for months now.

((Uhh the start of labor + getting to the hospital but I don't wanna get into that so have this. John's younger sister [Martha] is the only person who went to the hospital with John {Martha only being 12-13 at the time} Francis [kinloch, John's fiancé at the time{John being 16 Francis being 20(don't ask)}] is very shit and only comes after the birth anygays.. back to what I was doing))

"aren't you a little young..?" i hear a doctor say to my younger sister, Martha. her eyes fill with tears and she grabs my hand. "i-i need to be here for him.." the doctor looks at me and then at a clipboard. "there isn't anyone else..?" he questioned and looked at Martha. she shook her head and i squeezed her hand as more tears streamed down her face.

After the demon child got out I tell the doctor to keep it away from me and that it's father would be here soon. So I'm left alone. Alone in a hospital bed. Alone to my thoughts. Left with my tears. The thought that maybe the emotional pain of getting an abortion wouldn't have been have bad. The thought that maybe being called a murder wouldn't be that bad. The thought that I should have died during that. The thought that maybe I'd be better of somewhere far away from everyone. So that was the plan. Go far away from everyone as soon as I could walk without feeling blood.