Just an rp John Laurens background

Age 19

~Laurens pov~

I have my name changed legally but I haven't told anyone that already know me. Only telling new people I meet seeing that its a lot easier to just say my name and not have to explain who I once was.

I just hope everyone thinks I'm a cis man even though I only have bottom surgery and I wear my binder for way longer than I should. Though I should be fine as long as I don't start dating anyone and get sexual. So I don't make very many friends and just stick to my studies. It's easier like that, because then I don't have to let them down by being a dumb ass. My studies is what my dad wants me to do anyway ((anygay)) it may not be what I want to do but I guess it's better than nothing, and it's not like I can't do anything in my free time.

Though I hear my dead name so often and my close family, my siblings and father. Not a very great father if he can't even get your name and or pronouns right at least once. Been out for five years and I have one of the surgeries I'm getting. Even my younger  siblings can get it right most times.

((Child abuse 😟))

So I walk out to my father to hopefully just talk about how I'm feeling. "Dad" I start as I stand on the other side of the kitchen island "you do know it's not that hard to just get my name right?" I question and he raises his eyebrow. "I am getting your name right. You're just brain washing everyone into thinking you're a different person, when we all know you are not."    I put my hands on the island and look him in the eyes. "So I'm guessing you're just going off a birth certificate?" He crosses his arms and glares at me. "Yes, because everything else is just a load of crap! Just because you change your name to the public doesn't mean it changes for good." He gets louder and I start to walk away realizing this was a bad idea and that I should just let him be a homophobic, transphobic sexist bitch. Just then he grabs the hood of my hoodie. "Where the fuck- do you think you're going?" He looks into my eyes and I try my hardest not to act weak knowing the shit he can do. "No where?" I mumble as he puts his hands on my neck and push me against the wall. "I wasn't done talking to you, and from what I remember you are the one who started this conversation." His grip on my neck gets tighter and I feel a tear go down my cheek. "Oh come on. Talk to your old man, talk to me without being a little bitch or would you like me to stop loving you?" His grip got tighter and it made it hard to choke out anything more than a few mumbles. He gave a stern expression and punched his fist beside my head as my eyes go wide and I mumble. "No no! I was wrong I'm always wrong, I'm so wrong. How could I be so stupid to think I could be something I wasn't.." and like that he lets go of my neck and I run back to my room shutting and locking the door. As I slide down the door I burst into tears and hug my knees.

That's the last time I talk to my father